About vanessuhm : Hey, I'm Vanessa, currently a Junior in high school. I really like to draw and hang out. If you have a twitter, you should follow me. I'll follow back if you tweet me, ha! @vanessuhm
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Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11778) - you deserved it (17024)
On 09/14/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend in the bathroom, we heard a knock at the door, then her father's voice. I had to fake constipation noises until he left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14028) - you deserved it (8474)
On 09/02/2012 at 11:38am - intimacy - by scot - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43132) - you deserved it (11801)
On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was texting my crush. I tried to say, "I need a nap," but my iPhone changed it to "I need anal." I sent it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38379) - you deserved it (19507)
On 06/03/2010 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Allie - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13842) - you deserved it (3126)
On 12/08/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by fatguyinalittlecoat (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was on webcam with my boyfriend. A while later I forgot about it and started digging my nose vigorously. He then beeped me and said "Digging for gold, dear? " FML
I agree, your life sucks (7537) - you deserved it (41086)
On 07/16/2009 at 11:09am - misc - by carmelita (woman) - Singapore
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46765) - you deserved it (127820)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
Monday 20 May 2013
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