Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

van_helsing

Search for a member

van_helsing

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 24 December 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 859
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About van_helsing : If I were a Twilight character, I would be Van Helsing. He killed both vampires and werewolves.

I love Cracked.com, Memebase and FMyLife. And basketball.
Also, I'm a fan of Stephen King.

van_helsing's page activity

Visits<b>sodapop83</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 4:11am<b>MidnightMusic53</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 4:25pm

van_helsing's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of van_helsing's badges

van_helsing's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML

#18630466
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31254) - you deserved it (3101)

On 12/28/2011 at 12:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

#18626435
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42111) - you deserved it (8104)

On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML

#18624814
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10150) - you deserved it (44462)

On 12/27/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by ;)loganberry(; - United States (Montana)

Today, my parents gave me an iPhone. They then checked my grades online, and promptly took it away. FML

#18613210
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11578) - you deserved it (45716)

On 12/26/2011 at 1:35am - misc - by Paige - United States (California)

Today, my parents gave me an iPhone. They then checked my grades online, and promptly took it away. FML

#18613210
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11578) - you deserved it (45716)

On 12/26/2011 at 1:35am - misc - by Paige - United States (California)

Today, my mother was watching me play Pokémon. She walked over to the TV and pulled the plug before ranting about how shameful it is that her 17 year old daughter plays Pokémon. She then sat down at the computer and started playing Farmville. FML

#18594471
275 comments

Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML

#18591891
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27730) - you deserved it (3322)

On 12/23/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by ThinZ (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML

#18586470
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25967) - you deserved it (4920)

On 12/23/2011 at 3:43am - misc - by cj123 - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML

#18586470
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25967) - you deserved it (4920)

On 12/23/2011 at 3:43am - misc - by cj123 - United States (Arizona)

Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML

#18586179
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30637) - you deserved it (3189)

On 12/23/2011 at 2:42am - intimacy - by balkangirl94 - United States (Florida)

Today, someone nearly hit me with their car, so I flipped them the finger. They turned back around and tried to run me over. FML

#18585718
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26196) - you deserved it (9168)

On 12/23/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by badidea - United States (Minnesota)

Today, someone nearly hit me with their car, so I flipped them the finger. They turned back around and tried to run me over. FML

#18585718
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26196) - you deserved it (9168)

On 12/23/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by badidea - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went caroling with some family friends. We got pelted with oranges. FML

#18585273
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15234) - you deserved it (19685)

On 12/23/2011 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I ran full speed into a brick wall because I saw a tiger. On the other side of a zoo cage. FML

#18583606
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7641) - you deserved it (30787)

On 12/22/2011 at 10:02pm - animals - by steve - United States

Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML

#18583551
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21049) - you deserved it (3616)

On 12/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by bellerz14 - United States



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: