Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

vampirishhSA

Search for a member

vampirishhSA
  • Town/Country : NJ, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 2 June 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 5632
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About vampirishhSA : I'm loud.
I'm weird.
I love new friends.
My name happens to be Sylvia.

vampirishhSA's last visitors

FreezeSpac3GhostFentowngirlslikeboyzYouwantwhatnowhellomeli712JustSoLost

vampirishhSA's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

vampirishhSA's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was backing out of the my work's parking lot, I hit my boss' truck. While he was in it. FML

#7939097
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7779) - you deserved it (16483)

On 02/06/2010 at 2:50pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was feeling hungry, so I went to the kitchen to get a bowl of cereal. I found hundreds of weevils festering in my Lucky Charms. FML

#7937291
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20505) - you deserved it (3598)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by annony-moose - Sent from mobile version

Today, there was a new and extremely attractive girl at youth group, so I decided to introduce myself. Her reply was, "Wow, I've always wanted to meet a gay guy!" FML

#7937064
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28501) - you deserved it (3719)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:39pm - love - by Richard - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend of two years said he would finally take me somewhere romantic. I spent my day at a Star Wars convention. FML

#7936771
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21692) - you deserved it (5738)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:29pm - love - by cherrycokeee - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother told me that the carbon-monoxide alarm went off last night, but since she didn't smell any gas, she decided to just remove the batteries and go back to bed. I had to explain to her that you can't smell carbon monoxide, and that we could have died in our sleep. FML

#7936537
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35529) - you deserved it (1562)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:22pm - misc - by Kelso (woman) - United States

Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML

#7902895
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23061) - you deserved it (5145)

On 02/05/2010 at 10:14am - misc - by fububc - Sent from mobile version

Today, I laughed so hard my milk went out my nose in front of the boy I liked. Then, since I was laughing so hard about that, I accidentally farted. FML

#7901856
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29595) - you deserved it (7213)

On 02/05/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by hisgirl4life (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I made out with my friend for the first time. He gave me a hickey that can't be hidden. I'm the president of my church youth group and I have to help give a seminar on keeping your body like a holy temple... Tomorrow. FML

#7900233
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8233) - you deserved it (50674)

On 02/05/2010 at 5:35am - love - by hickey (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother and I were driving through Del Taco. Instead of ordering "Macho Diet Coke", she said "Macho Diet Cock". After correcting herself and pulling up to the window, the employee who goes to my high school gave her the drink and his phone number. FML

#7898835
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18334) - you deserved it (1687)

On 02/05/2010 at 2:52am - misc - by MachoFluster (man) - United States (California)

Today, I lied to the treadmill about my weight. FML

#7898560
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9520) - you deserved it (28364)

On 02/05/2010 at 2:33am - health - by Holly - United States

Today, one of my friends pointed out I'm starting to get a mustache! - "You're finally a man!" To bad it's my 15th birthday, and I'm a girl. FML

#7897193
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25430) - you deserved it (2823)

On 02/05/2010 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she can't treat me like the way I treat her. She said, "because you love me more than I love you." FML

#7895812
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29506) - you deserved it (3601)

On 02/05/2010 at 12:35am - love - by boostedsaab - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to the store with my 4 1/2 year old daughter. When we got to the cosmetics aisle, she asked what make-up was for, I told her it was to make women prettier. My daughter then told me it was a good thing I wear make-up because I was ugly and that I might scare off my husband. FML

#7891851
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23014) - you deserved it (2930)

On 02/04/2010 at 10:53pm - kids - by 102496 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a school rally I was talking to my friends when I noticed the entire gym had gotten quiet. Not knowing why I thought it would be funny to yell out "it's too quiet!" apparently it was a moment of silence for a teacher that had recently died. FML

#7889872
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5940) - you deserved it (55804)

On 02/04/2010 at 10:12pm - misc - by ... - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on the phone to my boyfriend in England. I live in Australia. What did he talk about for 15 minutes straight? Mafia Wars on Facebook and how far he had got. FML

#7885768
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20933) - you deserved it (4718)

On 02/04/2010 at 8:35pm - love - by MafiaWarsWidow (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: