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uzee

Offline (yesterday at 9:53pm) | Search for a member

uzee

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 March 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8718
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About uzee : Life is a moment. It's our job to make it seem like it lasts forever

uzee's page activity

Visits<b>LAUREN_1053</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 3:59am<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 5:09am<b>TeJadaTJD</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:45pm<b>imjanty</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 5:22am<b>simplyblades</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 8:40pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 6:38am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Whynotnowandhere</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 4:22pm<b>akosua</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 6:45pm<b>legendofizzy</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 5:06am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 1:40pm<b>veebiter</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 7:08pm<b>ScottMC</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 1:31pm<b>tabrowne898</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 10:04am<b>Global_User</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 8:56am<b>FMLprincess023</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 8:47am<b>emily_dunbar15</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 7:15pm<b>gabylikescheese</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 11:15am

uzee's FML badges

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of uzee's badges

uzee's favorite FMLs

Today, my house is on lockdown. I recently moved to Georgia from Rhode Island to be with my boyfriend. The state is on high alert for an ice storm. I'm stuck inside with my terrified boyfriend, who's calling it "the storm of the century". I used to walk to school in this weather. FML

#21058111
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48021) - you deserved it (5502)

On 02/12/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by Stuck - United States (Georgia)

Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML

#21050455
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49471) - you deserved it (4984)

On 02/04/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by DeeDee - Austria (Wien)

Today, I realized that my dog has more work experience than I do. He's a retired military working dog, and I have a Master's degree. FML

#21042693
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41098) - you deserved it (5259)

On 01/28/2014 at 3:22am - animals - by Pooper scooper - Guam

Today, I noticed my laptop kept shutting down and the mouse cursor was all over the place, clicking on every folder. I dismantled the entire computer only to notice something in one of my USB drives: the receiver to a wireless mouse my colleague put there earlier to play a prank on me. 5ML

#21037915
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34900) - you deserved it (7484)

On 01/24/2014 at 2:16am - work - by Kenny (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML

#21037332
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37430) - you deserved it (4700)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, someone thought it would be funny to steal the precious stuffed bear I've had since childhood and leave a ransom note in its place. FML

#21031005
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40501) - you deserved it (5174)

On 01/17/2014 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, there was a forest fire in my town. I was still forced to go to school, as it was safer. A lot of people decided not to go, and we ended up doing nothing but watching the news reports. There, I got to see my house burning on live TV. FML

#21030359
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67795) - you deserved it (4151)

On 01/16/2014 at 10:42pm - misc - by Fire sucks. (man) - United States

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

#21028396
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57122) - you deserved it (13989)

On 01/15/2014 at 12:54am - intimacy - by jseid2 - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53692) - you deserved it (32536)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62125) - you deserved it (27015)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

#21020901
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47824) - you deserved it (5091)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:37pm - misc - by bear food - United States (California)

Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML

#21018145
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45956) - you deserved it (9144)

On 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while there, and when she came back, she was crying. When I asked why, she said "I'm on my period!" and sobbed loudly in front of everyone that we couldn't have birthday sex. FML

#21016986
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61716) - you deserved it (6567)

On 01/04/2014 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I wrote a text to the guy I've had a crush on for two years. I typed "hey" and put my phone down, not ready to send it. A little while later, I heard it buzz. The reply said "Um... what?" Apparently my sister had added "I'm a shitty prostitute" to my text and sent it. FML

#21016150
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46679) - you deserved it (8214)

On 01/04/2014 at 12:25am - love - by ... - United States



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