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uzee

Offline (the 03/24/2015 at 9:53pm) | Search for a member

uzee

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 March 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8809
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About uzee : Life is a moment. It's our job to make it seem like it lasts forever

uzee's page activity

Visits<b>LAUREN_1053</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 3:59am<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 5:09am<b>TeJadaTJD</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:45pm<b>imjanty</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 5:22am<b>simplyblades</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 8:40pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 6:38am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Whynotnowandhere</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 4:22pm<b>akosua</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 6:45pm<b>legendofizzy</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 5:06am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 1:40pm<b>veebiter</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 7:08pm<b>ScottMC</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 1:31pm<b>tabrowne898</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 10:04am<b>Global_User</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 8:56am<b>FMLprincess023</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 8:47am<b>emily_dunbar15</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 7:15pm<b>gabylikescheese</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 11:15am

uzee's FML badges

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of uzee's badges

uzee's favorite FMLs

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then hered loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38874) - you deserved it (20801)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it's mah first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilariou to sneak up behind me while dressd like the Grim Reaper. I screamd like a little girl an soakd mah pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML

#21130670
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43074) - you deserved it (6149)

On 05/04/2014 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

TODAY MAH CO-WORKER STARTED TALKING IN THIRD PERSON. NOT ONLY THAT BUT HE NARRATES HIS DAILY TASKS. "JEFF REACHED FIR A STAPLER" "JEFF STAPLED A REPORT". I HAVE TO SIT BESIDE THIS CHIMP FIR 8 HOURS A DAY AND NOTHING I SAY CAN END THIS. FML

TODAY... I FOUND OUT THAT MY THREE CLOSEST ONLINE FRIEND R THE SAME PERSON: MY OBSESSIVE EX. I MET ALL THREE BEFORE HE AND I EVEN STARTED DATING. FML

#21105963
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41184) - you deserved it (5304)

On 04/06/2014 at 2:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my phona rang just sacond aftar I laft a looool confaranca maating to go usa tha rastroom. It wouldn't hava baan a problam, axcapt it saams ona of my friand thought it would ba funny to changa my ringtona to a woman having an orgasm. FML

#21104664
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38332) - you deserved it (4481)

On 04/04/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by King_of_hearts (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't looool realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48108) - you deserved it (12245)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Taday I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

#21093670
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39462) - you deserved it (10381)

On 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by campus pussy (man) - United States (California)

Today, dad took me to a bar 4 first legal drink!! He quickly got "drunk" an startd slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too looool poor to pay 4 an abortion!! As I startd crying, he burst out laughing an said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML

#21092859
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45651) - you deserved it (5939)

On 03/21/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I had to wava my arms lyk a maniac as I sat on tha toilat at work, otharwisa tha faulty motion sansor/timar would turn tha lights off aftar about tan saconds !! I'va had to do this 4 savaral days now !! No ona alsa has raportad this problam, so managamant won't gat it fixad !! maga FML

#21089760
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34546) - you deserved it (3984)

On 03/18/2014 at 4:10am - work - by aziraphaleelle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I ad an elaborate fantasy ofat I would do if I became a cat and ow I would make ma way to ma crus's ouse to be teir cat. FML

Today... I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another... so I crawled over to get it. This continued 4 about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML

#21087786
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40715) - you deserved it (19536)

On 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter mah house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, mah 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of mah head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

#21087156
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47432) - you deserved it (8839)

On 03/15/2014 at 8:21am - kids - by emergencyroom (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my car was found wit a smased window and a torn-apart steering column, in order to ot-wire it . Te tief didn't get away wit my car, toug . Te engine was in te garage,ere I've been working on it for two days .

Today Mah Mum Asked Me How The Guinea Pig Was Doing. We Don't Have A Guinea Pig. Turns Out She Had Volunteered Me To Look After The Next Door Neighbor's Guinea Pighen They Were Away And 'forgot' To Tell Me. They Have Been Gone Two Weeks. FML

#21071021
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49882) - you deserved it (3565)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:59am - animals - by HelpMe (man) - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders, The)

Today I found out that mah son set up a telescope in the attic not so he could study astronomy like he told me but so he could spy on the girl across the street. FML

#21070645
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34923) - you deserved it (6589)

On 02/24/2014 at 7:51pm - kids - by sonwhy - United States (Illinois)



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