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uzee

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uzee

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 March 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5289
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About uzee : Life is a moment. It's our job to make it seem like it lasts forever

uzee's page activity

Visits<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 5:09am<b>TeJadaTJD</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:45pm<b>imjanty</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 5:22am<b>simplyblades</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 8:40pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 6:38am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Whynotnowandhere</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 4:22pm<b>akosua</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 6:45pm<b>legendofizzy</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 5:06am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 1:40pm<b>veebiter</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 7:08pm<b>ScottMC</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 1:31pm<b>tabrowne898</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 10:04am<b>Global_User</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 8:56am<b>FMLprincess023</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 8:47am<b>emily_dunbar15</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 7:15pm<b>gabylikescheese</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 11:15am<b>emmybabe987</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 12:01am

uzee's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of uzee's badges

uzee's favorite FMLs

Today, I was staying at a seedy apartment. A group of drunken idiots next door decided it would be fun to run into the wall simultaneously. They broke through the rotted wall and ran me over. FML

#20982547
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40245) - you deserved it (2962)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:36am - misc - by unlucky neighbors - China (Shanghai)

Today, I covered a 10-hour shift for a sick coworker. Glad to earn some extra money for the holidays, I went to clock out. I hadn't even clocked in when I first got there at 7 am. FML

#20979925
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39445) - you deserved it (14827)

On 12/03/2013 at 11:02pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I called the police to report that my car had been keyed. I remember going to a bar last night and getting drunk. A surveillance camera revealed that after my drunken self couldn't unlock the door to my car, I punched the door and hurt my fist so bad that I keyed my own car. FML

#20977883
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18643) - you deserved it (49039)

On 12/02/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by car keyer (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my neighbor brought a ruined napkin holder over and claimed that we drilled a hole through his wall and ruined it. I apologized, not telling him that it was actually a bullet that my boyfriend shot through the wall. FML

#20974338
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22605) - you deserved it (35901)

On 11/29/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, with my name sounding vaguely like 'Turkey' and being in the phonebook for business purposes, people keep calling, offering to stuff me for Thanksgiving. FML

#20973255
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35844) - you deserved it (3143)

On 11/28/2013 at 1:26am - animals - by NotTellingYouMyName (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, in my second year at university, I took a pregnancy test. It is the only test I've passed all month. FML

#20966092
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32232) - you deserved it (46799)

On 11/21/2013 at 7:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

#20963410
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55647) - you deserved it (8460)

On 11/19/2013 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by oops999 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

#20963297
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48149) - you deserved it (8029)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by you+me-clothes=53>< (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, my cat has figured out that while I'm good at sleeping through her nagging in the early morning hours, I will unfailingly wake up for my baby. FML

Today, I turned 30. While all my friends are getting married, furthering careers and having children, I'm still sat around being as immature as I was as a teenager. I'm going through a classic case of premature age-jaculation. I laughed for 10 minutes after coming up with that. FML

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house at 9am to surprise him on our 1 year anniversary. In the process, I gatecrashed another celebration he was having with his second girlfriend. FML

#20962153
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57736) - you deserved it (4094)

On 11/18/2013 at 1:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

#20961988
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42926) - you deserved it (17448)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States

Today, my debate partner repeatedly said "You mad, bro?" to the opposing team in our college debate class. That debate was worth a considerable portion of our grade. FML

#20959913
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40532) - you deserved it (2887)

On 11/16/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by gonnafail (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend of three years sent me a text message saying "It's over!". I sent him maybe a thousand texts saying "Why?", "What do you mean?!" After an hour of crying and whatnot, I realized he had driver's education today and that he was saying the class was over. FML

#20959504
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29702) - you deserved it (44635)

On 11/16/2013 at 5:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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