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uzee

Offline (16 hours ago) | Search for a member

uzee

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 March 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5216
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About uzee : Life is a moment. It's our job to make it seem like it lasts forever

uzee's page activity

Visits<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 5:09am<b>TeJadaTJD</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:45pm<b>imjanty</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 5:22am<b>simplyblades</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 8:40pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 6:38am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Whynotnowandhere</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 4:22pm<b>akosua</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 6:45pm<b>legendofizzy</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 5:06am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 1:40pm<b>veebiter</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 7:08pm<b>ScottMC</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 1:31pm<b>tabrowne898</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 10:04am<b>Global_User</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 8:56am<b>FMLprincess023</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 8:47am<b>emily_dunbar15</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 7:15pm<b>gabylikescheese</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 11:15am<b>emmybabe987</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 12:01am

uzee's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of uzee's badges

uzee's favorite FMLs

Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML

#16767931
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40524) - you deserved it (3476)

On 06/20/2011 at 6:42pm - misc - by shyshy96679 - United States

Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML

#16689352
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44741) - you deserved it (6006)

On 06/16/2011 at 1:42am - misc - by mike oxsmall - United States

Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML

#16677911
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65255) - you deserved it (11500)

On 06/15/2011 at 2:00pm - love - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML

#16676970
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33631) - you deserved it (7886)

On 06/15/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by Seriously (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in my family's hotel room taking a dump. The lock to the bathroom was broken so we had made a deal: when the door is closed, someone is using the toilet. The maid didn't know that. She punched me in the face because she claimed I scared her. FML

#16675127
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32462) - you deserved it (2866)

On 06/15/2011 at 9:37am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, I went to a concert with my boyfriend. I was repeatedly ass-grabbed, grinded on and hit on by guys. My boyfriend's response was, "As long as they continue to bring you free beer, let them get a little feel of what they are paying for." FML

#16674026
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39376) - you deserved it (8183)

On 06/15/2011 at 6:20am - misc - by unknown - United States (California)

Today, a car hit me while I was in a crosswalk. The driver jumped out of her car and stepped over me to check her car for damage. FML

#16671124
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38554) - you deserved it (2720)

On 06/15/2011 at 1:07am - health - by Username - United States (California)

Today, like every other day this past week at Bonnaroo, I've been placing my belongings in the cubbyhole inside the portapotties as I use. Today, I also learned that those "cubbyholes" are urinals. FML

#16666197
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8254) - you deserved it (49057)

On 06/14/2011 at 8:07pm - misc - by Savannah (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12621) - you deserved it (57842)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my aunt and I went shopping. When we got to the store, she said she forgot her wallet, and I told her I would buy some things for her. When we were at the checkout, I was a dollar short. She said, "Oh, I'll get it!" and pulled out her wallet. FML

#16648557
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44014) - you deserved it (4351)

On 06/13/2011 at 6:29pm - money - by sarahwittman - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I spent fifteen minutes looking for my phone in my car before I realized I was using it as a flashlight. FML

#16579288
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14489) - you deserved it (55635)

On 06/09/2011 at 2:30pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I walked downstairs, made a bowl of hot cereal, and held a full conversation with my brother's girlfriend, before I finally put two and two together and realized I hadn't put any pants on. FML

#16541203
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11376) - you deserved it (25539)

On 06/07/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by mongoosemike -

Today, I sent my boyfriend a long and heartfelt message. He responded with "tl; dr". FML

#16540181
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26123) - you deserved it (6033)

On 06/07/2011 at 12:43am - love - by Maddie110110 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my mom said, in front of my older brother's friends, "Wow, you're going to make some man really happy one day!" FML

#16510202
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41042) - you deserved it (8196)

On 06/05/2011 at 2:48am - intimacy - by e_edge (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML

#16508942
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62931) - you deserved it (3694)

On 06/05/2011 at 1:17am - love - by dumped - United States (Utah)



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