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uzee

Offline (the 08/17/2015 at 7:17am) | Search for a member

uzee

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 March 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10910
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About uzee : Life is a moment. It's our job to make it seem like it lasts forever

uzee's page activity

Visits<b>fmlcharlii</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 1:50am<b>Jenn_Ohio</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 2:04pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 7:50am<b>LAUREN_1053</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 3:59am<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 5:09am<b>TeJadaTJD</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:45pm<b>imjanty</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 5:22am<b>simplyblades</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 8:40pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 6:38am<b>Whynotnowandhere</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 4:22pm<b>akosua</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 6:45pm<b>legendofizzy</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 5:06am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 1:40pm<b>veebiter</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 7:08pm<b>ScottMC</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 1:31pm<b>tabrowne898</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 10:04am<b>Global_User</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 8:56am<b>FMLprincess023</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 8:47am

uzee's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

See all of uzee's badges

uzee's favorite FMLs

Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML

#19613905
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21366) - you deserved it (3741)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by Andy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend sat me down for a "confession". His confession consisted of him saying that "women are like a bag of chips," and that while you can love the smokey BBQ flavor, every once in a while you just have to go for some salt and vinegar. FML

#19612395
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27334) - you deserved it (2178)

On 05/12/2012 at 4:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, my fiancé got drunk at our wedding reception and announced to his and my family what we do in bed. And it was pretty detailed. FML

#19610087
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29905) - you deserved it (3835)

On 05/12/2012 at 1:27am - intimacy - by crazyman. - United States (Texas)

Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet.  A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML

#19609899
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9294) - you deserved it (50216)

On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML

#19609877
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12425) - you deserved it (61560)

On 05/12/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Hunter101 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my birthday. I was heading back to my apartment and I heard noises inside the door. Assuming it was the surprise party I'd hinted at, I flicked on the lights as two heavy guys pushed past me. I was robbed. FML

#19604267
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31738) - you deserved it (2078)

On 05/10/2012 at 8:28pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

#19603084
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61279) - you deserved it (3381)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML

#19602885
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22575) - you deserved it (4925)

On 05/10/2012 at 3:14pm - misc - by Amy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML

#19602686
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21822) - you deserved it (4898)

On 05/10/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by tinydancer (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was on an airplane, waiting to go to the bathroom. After a few minutes, the man behind me asked what I was waiting for, and checked the bathroom. It was empty, and there was a big line behind me. FML

#19601816
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8722) - you deserved it (26382)

On 05/10/2012 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I realized I was getting a bit chubbier than usual. I decided to go for a little jog to stay in shape. Little did I know, my neighbors that just moved in brought along with them, a fully grown German Shepherd. Not tamed. My "jog" quickly turned into a "sprint for my life". FML

#19600497
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26974) - you deserved it (2772)

On 05/09/2012 at 11:34pm - misc - by I Don't Exorcise - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML

#19598679
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27880) - you deserved it (2942)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

#19576176
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38148) - you deserved it (2486) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/05/2012 at 6:06am - kids - by Grindyloo -

Today, my boyfriend thought it was a good show of etiquette to answer a text message from his ex, while he was still inside me. FML

#19573646
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32220) - you deserved it (3291)

On 05/04/2012 at 4:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, the person I've been sharing my most intimate feelings with finally got bored and let me know I've been texting the wrong number for weeks. FML

#19573313
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26471) - you deserved it (4628)

On 05/04/2012 at 3:14pm - love - by john (man) - United Kingdom (Reading)



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