uzee

Search for a member

Offline (the 02/14/2016 at 7:48pm)

uzee

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 March 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 13646
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About uzee : Life is a moment. It's our job to make it seem like it lasts forever

uzee's page activity

Visits<b>oDontFuckMyL1fe</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 12:45am<b>biasedshooter</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 10:40am<b>iprene</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 5:28am<b>fmlcharlii</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 1:50am<b>Jenn_Ohio</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 2:04pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 7:50am<b>LAUREN_1053</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 3:59am<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 5:09am<b>TeJadaTJD</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:45pm<b>imjanty</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 5:22am<b>simplyblades</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 8:40pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 6:38am<b>Whynotnowandhere</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 4:22pm<b>akosua</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 6:45pm<b>legendofizzy</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 5:06am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 1:40pm<b>veebiter</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 7:08pm<b>ScottMC</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 1:31pm

uzee's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

See all of uzee's badges

uzee's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up feeling ecstatic, because last night, my crush had told my best friend he likes me a lot. I sent him a text message telling him the feeling is mutual. A little while after sending it, it hit me that his confession had only been part of a dream. FML

by hannah / 09/15/2012 at 6:16pm / New Zealand (Marlborough) / Love

Today, I got back to work. Last week, my divorce was finalized and my last name is, once again, my maiden name. Since I'm a teacher, all my students will remember me by my ex-husband's last name. I get to be reminded every day that my marriage failed until everyone memorizes my maiden name. FML

by divorcee / 09/05/2012 at 11:27pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching TV and there were penguins laying eggs. He said, "Penguins are mammals, they don't lay eggs." I replied, "Penguins are birds." We fought about it for ages until he realised that I was right, and has since stopped talking to me. FML

by difference between birds and mammals. / 09/02/2012 at 8:10pm / Australia / Animals

Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML

by ImOverHere / 09/02/2012 at 12:56pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that if a guy you've been dating starts acting weird, there's probably a reason why. Like, perhaps, a wife and two kids. FML

by yonanon / 08/31/2012 at 8:02am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML

by TBTC / 08/31/2012 at 3:16am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

by Geckosrock99 / 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML

by Kat / 08/30/2012 at 9:08pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my teacher that Czechoslovakia is no longer a country. She kicked me out of class when she found out I was right. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2012 at 2:33pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML

by Sarah / 08/30/2012 at 8:58am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I discovered why my girlfriend is so obsessed with cutting my nails. She collects my clippings in a jar under her bed. She claims it will keep us together longer. FML

by freaked out / 08/30/2012 at 4:04am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

by blakeintheoffice / 08/08/2012 at 9:53am / United States / Work

Today, my friends and I planned to go to a waterpark together. However, due to a "miscommunication," I, and only I, was given both the wrong time and the wrong meeting place. I spent three hours sitting in a parking lot in little more than my swimming suit. FML

by crissy becks / 08/05/2012 at 6:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous