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uzee

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uzee
  • Town/Country : Plovdiv, Bulgaria
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 11 March 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 2260
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About uzee : Life is a moment. It's our job to make it seem like it lasts forever

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uzee's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my son's high school play. The moment I arrived at the auditorium, I shouted out his name to let him know I made it. Thinking I was a student, a teacher yelled, "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Scared out of my mind, I quickly obeyed, to mass giggling from the kids. FML

#15098216
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10417) - you deserved it (22923)

On 02/24/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by Annie (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my therapist told me to write down my secrets in an envelope and symbolically burn them. My secrets included stories of my rampant sex life, drug use, a suicide attempt, and the overpowering hatred I have for my family. I've managed to misplace the envelope somewhere back home. FML

#15091616
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21624) - you deserved it (15436)

On 02/23/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by Elle (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

#15075987
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40717) - you deserved it (3360)

On 02/22/2011 at 7:25am - misc - by no name -

Today, I desperately tried to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't talk about the bible during sex. He honestly doesn't understand. FML

#15067918
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29367) - you deserved it (5546)

On 02/21/2011 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by Clare (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML

#15067596
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29817) - you deserved it (2310)

On 02/21/2011 at 5:20pm - misc - by thissucks - United States (California)

Today, I received my first wedding present in the mail. I opened it immediately and called the sender to say thanks. She yelled at me for opening it and, because she shipped it to me by mistake, requested it back. FML

#14964211
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19881) - you deserved it (2165)

On 02/13/2011 at 9:22pm - misc - by bride2be (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

#14961230
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34625) - you deserved it (6932)

On 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm - intimacy - by Katrina (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

#14952962
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27091) - you deserved it (2441)

On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I took sexy pictures for my boyfriend. I am at my Aunt's house. I uploaded the pictures and after successfully posting them in a message I deleted them. I accidentally deleted the whole photo library. Now she is taking the computer to Apple tomorrow to recover the "lost" photos. FML

#14952772
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7643) - you deserved it (38842)

On 02/12/2011 at 8:36pm - misc - by Hailey - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, It was my birthday and my friends came to celebrate it. My parents thought it would be funny to give me a vibrator in front of everybody. FML

#14948054
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26909) - you deserved it (3548)

On 02/12/2011 at 10:13am - intimacy - by AMIGODO (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I got banned on Club Penguin because I said "shit" while I was in a fight with another penguin about whose igloo is cooler. Shouldn't I have better things to do on a Friday night? FML

#14944563
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8436) - you deserved it (32568)

On 02/12/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by courtbabbbby (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend's parents walked in on us having sex. Not only did her dad make me walk out to my truck with no clothes on, he is my baseball coach and I will be seeing him on Monday. FML

#14944221
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26449) - you deserved it (14468)

On 02/12/2011 at 12:59am - intimacy - by Keith walk - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML

#14923153
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15671) - you deserved it (8646)

On 02/10/2011 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to babysit two kids. I told them to stop fighting, or to sit on separate couches. They stopped. I asked why nobody would sit on the other couch, where I'd been sitting. They told me it was the couch their autistic brother often pees on. FML

#14792187
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20542) - you deserved it (2242)

On 01/31/2011 at 10:11pm - misc - by joxerthemighty39 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

#14790156
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41259) - you deserved it (7481)

On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)



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