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uzee

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uzee

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 March 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10602
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About uzee : Life is a moment. It's our job to make it seem like it lasts forever

uzee's page activity

Visits<b>fmlcharlii</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 1:50am<b>Jenn_Ohio</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 2:04pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 7:50am<b>LAUREN_1053</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 3:59am<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 5:09am<b>TeJadaTJD</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:45pm<b>imjanty</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 5:22am<b>simplyblades</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 8:40pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 6:38am<b>Whynotnowandhere</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 4:22pm<b>akosua</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 6:45pm<b>legendofizzy</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 5:06am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 1:40pm<b>veebiter</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 7:08pm<b>ScottMC</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 1:31pm<b>tabrowne898</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 10:04am<b>Global_User</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 8:56am<b>FMLprincess023</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 8:47am

uzee's FML badges

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You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

See all of uzee's badges

uzee's favorite FMLs

Today, after nearly 5 months of trying for a baby, I found out my wife has continued to take the pill as it gave her a better idea of her cycle and thus when she'd be "most fertile". FML

#20492131
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44188) - you deserved it (4791)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by jdrew32 - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

#20478409
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37553) - you deserved it (5455)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34531) - you deserved it (2787)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my uncle keeps spamming me on Facebook with friend suggestions. Most of them are people he met on porn sites. FML

#20443243
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20820) - you deserved it (1857)

On 01/05/2013 at 12:37am - misc - by tftm - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML

#20440103
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51718) - you deserved it (4568)

On 01/03/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Emily (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

#20429501
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37263) - you deserved it (4090)

On 12/29/2012 at 4:32am - misc - by gassy - United States (Washington)

Today, I set up a spy cam in my room to find out which one of my pervy brothers has been using my computer to watch porn. Turns out it was actually my father. I now have a video of him sitting in my chair masturbating, and I can't get it out of my head. FML

#20427916
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45785) - you deserved it (11222)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I woke up with an engagement ring on my left hand. The same one I refused last month. My boyfriend apparently waited for me to be drunk to propose again last night, and has already posted the pics on Facebook. FML

#20427625
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38542) - you deserved it (14607)

On 12/28/2012 at 10:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend using my hand to wank. FML

#20427495
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46840) - you deserved it (9690)

On 12/28/2012 at 6:40am - intimacy - by kmtranter - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, I dyed my naturally-blonde hair dark brown. Upon seeing me, my boyfriend immediately wanted to have sex, because I now remind him of his favourite porn star. FML

#20413704
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43436) - you deserved it (14331)

On 12/22/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by brunetteshavemorefun (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

#20405418
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30291) - you deserved it (8622)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, some beefed-up guy wearing a wife-beater sat in my restaurant, took out a big sack of coins, and played My Little Pony songs on the jukebox for 4 hours straight. I couldn't summon the courage to tell him to leave. FML

#20401192
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24930) - you deserved it (5541)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:57pm - work - by lingling (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

#20401145
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26188) - you deserved it (3964)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my car is still in the shop, so I asked my psycho brother to drive me to the mall. He sped up to nearly 20km over the speed limit, so I shouted for him to stop before he got us both killed. He hit the brakes in the middle of an intersection, and wouldn't move again until I got out. FML

#20401140
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24121) - you deserved it (7595)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)



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