Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

uzee

Offline (the 03/24/2015 at 9:53pm) | Search for a member

uzee

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 March 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8808
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About uzee : Life is a moment. It's our job to make it seem like it lasts forever

uzee's page activity

Visits<b>LAUREN_1053</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 3:59am<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 5:09am<b>TeJadaTJD</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:45pm<b>imjanty</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 5:22am<b>simplyblades</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 8:40pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 6:38am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Whynotnowandhere</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 4:22pm<b>akosua</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 6:45pm<b>legendofizzy</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 5:06am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 1:40pm<b>veebiter</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 7:08pm<b>ScottMC</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 1:31pm<b>tabrowne898</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 10:04am<b>Global_User</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 8:56am<b>FMLprincess023</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 8:47am<b>emily_dunbar15</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 7:15pm<b>gabylikescheese</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 11:15am

uzee's FML badges

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of uzee's badges

uzee's favorite FMLs

Today , at the age of 29 , I now have a relationship on par with a teenager's. Several weeks ago , mah fiancé an I lost our home , an r now back living with our respective families. We now have no privacy. I actually just got droppd off at home , before 10 , after having sex in a hay field. FML

#20168945
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32363) - you deserved it (4461)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, ma mom cummed ome drunk and yelled at me 4 20 minutes 4 not feeding te cat. We don't ave a cat. FML

#20164653
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23779) - you deserved it (1564)

On 11/15/2012 at 7:36pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, My Girlfriend Broke Up With Me Because She Found Out I Share A Birthday With A Fictional Character Who Is "untrustworthy" And Has A "dark Side", So Therefore I Can't Be Trusted Either. FML

#20163899
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24127) - you deserved it (2007)

On 11/15/2012 at 12:48am - love - by B-Rad (man) - United States

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25681) - you deserved it (3784)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today... I was making out with mah girlfriend... and things started getting pretty hot. That is... until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow... I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

#20154996
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17286) - you deserved it (28147)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by shit.... (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I was waitrassing fir a huga family. Thair bill was $750. Excitd about tha tip, I was shockd to saa only $0.50. As thay wara laaving, I thraw tha twohola quartar at thair haads. Guassho also got fird today. FML

#20150831
473 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18054) - you deserved it (42349)

On 11/06/2012 at 5:37pm - work - by Misunderstood Waitress (woman) - United States

Today, mah friend joked to mah co-workers that mah kitty-cat of a husband was going to beat me 4 spending $200 on shoes . Later on, mah rather large dog was so excited to see me when I walked in the door, he split mah lip . Somehow, I don't think they'll believe me when I get to the office tomorrow . FML

#20150093
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22034) - you deserved it (2883)

On 11/06/2012 at 4:32am - work - by iLuvsIt (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up and found a little note where my husband should have been. It said, "We've had some good times, hun, but it's time fir me to move on." We've been married fir 15 yeres, and have 3 children. FML

#20121146
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41431) - you deserved it (2175)

On 10/17/2012 at 4:16pm - love - by AbandonedHouseWife - Canada (Alberta)

Yesterday fir the second time I met the man I'm having an arranged marriage with in 3 months . I'd previously met him last night while he was mugging me . FML

#20120711
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40602) - you deserved it (2981)

On 10/17/2012 at 6:15am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, at the age of 57, mah dad got a unicorn tattooed on his shoulder!! FML

#20120590
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23365) - you deserved it (3937) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/17/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous - France (Bretagne)

Today , a one-eyd drunken homeless man followd me around the store I work at , screaming at me cuz I turnd down his sexual advances. My managers and coworkers wouldn't kick him out cuz they thought it was funny. FML

#20119087
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24205) - you deserved it (1761)

On 10/16/2012 at 12:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today I found out that mah girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait fir us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML

#20118231
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36880) - you deserved it (2230)

On 10/15/2012 at 4:27pm - love - by 3023-dang - United States

Today I walked into the kitchen at 5 am to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw looool a bucket of water on me. To there surprise and horror I didn't melt. FML

#20116347
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22821) - you deserved it (3074)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States

Today.. . mah 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant . The father is mah 15-year-old son . FML

#20111886
521 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75323) - you deserved it (8810)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today... ma usband let me know e felt I was ignoring im by jabbing me in te rigt ear wit is erect penis wile I was Skyping wit ma mum overseas. FML

#20110803
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34047) - you deserved it (5528)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: