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Offline (the 03/24/2015 at 9:53pm) | Search for a member
About uzee : Life is a moment. It's our job to make it seem like it lasts forever
I NEED to know!
How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Today , at the age of 29 , I now have a relationship on par with a teenager's. Several weeks ago , mah fiancé an I lost our home , an r now back living with our respective families. We now have no privacy. I actually just got droppd off at home , before 10 , after having sex in a hay field. FML
Today... I was making out with mah girlfriend... and things started getting pretty hot. That is... until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow... I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
Today, I was waitrassing fir a huga family. Thair bill was $750. Excitd about tha tip, I was shockd to saa only $0.50. As thay wara laaving, I thraw tha twohola quartar at thair haads. Guassho also got fird today. FML
Today, mah friend joked to mah co-workers that mah kitty-cat of a husband was going to beat me 4 spending $200 on shoes . Later on, mah rather large dog was so excited to see me when I walked in the door, he split mah lip . Somehow, I don't think they'll believe me when I get to the office tomorrow . FML
Today, I woke up and found a little note where my husband should have been. It said, "We've had some good times, hun, but it's time fir me to move on." We've been married fir 15 yeres, and have 3 children. FML
Today , a one-eyd drunken homeless man followd me around the store I work at , screaming at me cuz I turnd down his sexual advances. My managers and coworkers wouldn't kick him out cuz they thought it was funny. FML
Friday 27 March 2015