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Today, I was trying to replace the lightbulb in my bedroom. Since I couldn't reach it by myself, I grabbed and stood on a chair. After I got two broken bones, and had stitches in my forehead, I figured that using a chair with wheels probably wasn't the best idea after all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7541) - you deserved it (52566)
On 03/31/2011 at 10:23pm - misc - by owies :( - United States (Florida)
Today, I realized I don't know which is sadder: the fact I have detailed conversations with myself in my car, or that I bought a Bluetooth earpiece so that I can do it in public without people thinking I'm a complete lunatic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27906) - you deserved it (18892)
On 03/30/2011 at 12:54am - health - by shelby - United States
Today, my dad said that if I walked home from school, a distance of 8 miles, he would give me $50. Two hours and four massive blisters later, I come home. When I asked for my money, he said "I was kidding." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30871) - you deserved it (10046)
On 03/29/2011 at 3:00pm - misc - by hiker - United States
Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39455) - you deserved it (6714)
On 03/26/2011 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Thatslife (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)
Today, I was let go from my balloon-selling job at the zoo. They put a new monkey cage in my designated spot. I was literally fired so a monkey could take my place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29394) - you deserved it (3641)
On 03/23/2011 at 7:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having I shot at him with the sniper gun I bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was ok. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10390) - you deserved it (35412)
On 03/22/2011 at 12:31pm - misc - by FailedSniper (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62482) - you deserved it (11821)
On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I called a wrong number. Calling back the right person, I began a long story about how I'd just called the wrong number. It was the wrong number lady again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9220) - you deserved it (25221)
On 03/22/2011 at 8:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I called the car repair shop to complain to the manager about their tow driver who keeps making sexual passes at me. The girl taking my call started crying and said that their driver was her husband. I'm being sexually harassed, my car is dead, and I think I just ended a marriage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39305) - you deserved it (3007)
On 03/20/2011 at 1:42pm - misc - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was telling my friend how lonely I am on Skype. He responded by deleting me as a friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24895) - you deserved it (7912)
On 03/20/2011 at 12:52am - love - by changeddaily (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41178) - you deserved it (6176)
On 03/19/2011 at 12:00pm - kids - by jaimie - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38956) - you deserved it (6436)
On 03/16/2011 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by thisblows - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I banged into a glass door. My friend laughed at me, so I turned around and gave him the finger, then turned back to continue walking and banged into the door again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11757) - you deserved it (46274)
Today, the bus came to pick up my daughter to take her to kindergarten. When it honked, I opened the door for her to let her run out to it. Halfway there she tripped and started crying. I couldn't run out because I was still in my underwear. Now her bus thinks I'm the worst mom ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13039) - you deserved it (4871)
On 03/14/2011 at 10:25pm - kids - by mommylovesu (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (89515) - you deserved it (4727) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Monday 17 June 2013
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