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uzee

Offline (the 03/24/2015 at 9:53pm) | Search for a member

uzee

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 March 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8811
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About uzee : Life is a moment. It's our job to make it seem like it lasts forever

uzee's page activity

Visits<b>LAUREN_1053</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 3:59am<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 5:09am<b>TeJadaTJD</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:45pm<b>imjanty</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 5:22am<b>simplyblades</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 8:40pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 6:38am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 2:16pm<b>Whynotnowandhere</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 4:22pm<b>akosua</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 6:45pm<b>legendofizzy</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 5:06am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 1:40pm<b>veebiter</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 7:08pm<b>ScottMC</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 1:31pm<b>tabrowne898</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 10:04am<b>Global_User</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 8:56am<b>FMLprincess023</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 8:47am<b>emily_dunbar15</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 7:15pm<b>gabylikescheese</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 11:15am

uzee's FML badges

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

Gold Rush

How about we run you a bath and give you a new car as well?

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of uzee's badges

uzee's favorite FMLs

yesterday at work, I gave a piece of candy to a co-worker I ave a crus on. Se lookd at me werdly an walkd away. I ten rememberd tat my friend wrote ( penis ) on te wrapper. FML

#21314853
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28931) - you deserved it (6830)

On 12/10/2014 at 3:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, My Mom Textd Me An Askd Wat I Was Up To. In Response, I Jokd, "Dancing On The Dining Room Table, Waving Dad's Calvin Klein's In The Air, An Shooting Bullets Into Her Bedroom Floor." Not Only Did The Cops Show Up, But Now I'm Groundd 4 Two Weeks 4 Being, "deceptively Believable." FML

#21314000
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31736) - you deserved it (5370)

On 12/08/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by #goodbyelife - United States

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39022) - you deserved it (3993)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today,hila claaring stuff out of tha basamant, I found mah ax-wifa's old alactronic diary davica from tha '90s. I found tha chargar, powarad it up, and had soon raad all about out sha'd baan chaating on ma for almost half our marriaga with tha guy sha's now marriad to. FML

#21313160
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38480) - you deserved it (3270)

On 12/07/2014 at 2:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Galway)

Yastarday, I spant naarly an hour halping a customar pick out an angagamant ring. I rang him up, pickad out a supar cuta box fir tha ring, and wishad him luck. Latar I raalizad I navar puttad tha ring insida tha box. maga FML

#21304265
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31190) - you deserved it (15459)

On 11/23/2014 at 1:10am - misc - by KilledTheMoment - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was selling winter-temed cookie at ma university . I ceerfully asked a grl if se would like to buy cookie to support peer tutoring . Her response? "I don't eat food." FML

#21303227
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31506) - you deserved it (3537)

On 11/21/2014 at 8:51am - misc - by UTRejected (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today , at the gym , some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill 4 not going fast enough , and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing , cuz he heard me from the other side of the room , and threatened to kill me. mega FML

#21297627
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29501) - you deserved it (8313)

On 11/12/2014 at 11:00am - health - by juggalomurderer59 (man) - United States

Today... Father Picked Me Up From The Police Academy I'm Attending... And Got Caught Speeding. The Officer Was Drill Instructor... And I Had To Do Push-ups On The Side Of The Highway. Mega FML

#21297310
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34584) - you deserved it (4407)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:16pm - misc - by Xx_DEXIJOKER_xX - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was getting everything ready fir mine and my husband's first wedding anniversary. Flowers, check. Crisp new looool bd sheets, check. Silk underwear, check. Crippling cramps and an early period, check. FML

#21294602
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45963) - you deserved it (3191)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:09am - intimacy - by betterthanhodor - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I confrontd my boyfriand aftar I found im caating on ma wit my bast friand. It andd up wit ma apologising for spying on im. FML

#21293948
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33573) - you deserved it (15836)

On 11/07/2014 at 7:28am - love - by Turnaround (woman) -

Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstars I heard mah 7 year old daughter screaming ( Mom!! Help! I ned u right now! ) I panickd and ran downstars, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was mah neighbor at the door. FML

#21293802
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33242) - you deserved it (3208)

On 11/06/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by ozozl - United States (Colorado)

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when u press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she looool started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML

#21292789
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28969) - you deserved it (3330)

On 11/05/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by aineroo (woman) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart!! I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded fir two weeks, brthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser!! FML

#21292742
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35579) - you deserved it (8606)

On 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I learned that the house I've been living in and paying rent for the past two months was never advertised as vacant. I learned this when the actual homeowners walked in, and called the police for an "intruder." mega FML

#21291174
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35914) - you deserved it (3019)

On 11/03/2014 at 10:54am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)



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