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Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62536) - you deserved it (6325)
On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)
Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24282) - you deserved it (3965)
On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my roommate set her extremely loud alarm clock for 5am and continued to hit the snooze button every ten minutes until 7:30. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18882) - you deserved it (1117)
On 10/10/2012 at 1:38pm - misc - by tiredofthis - United States (Tennessee)
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10574) - you deserved it (42398)
On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12767) - you deserved it (5198)
On 10/09/2012 at 12:03pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I realized I might lose my job because some asshole customer complained about me to my district manager. His complaint? Girls can't work at video game stores. My DM agreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22955) - you deserved it (1594)
On 10/02/2012 at 9:11am - work - by GamerTag (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had to pay my manager $10 just to take my stalker's order so I didn't have to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13217) - you deserved it (1235)
On 09/25/2012 at 3:08am - work - by snowbell18 (woman) - United States
Today, I woke up feeling ecstatic, because last night, my crush had told my best friend he likes me a lot. I sent him a text message telling him the feeling is mutual. A little while after sending it, it hit me that his confession had only been part of a dream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23003) - you deserved it (4572)
On 09/15/2012 at 6:16pm - love - by hannah (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)
Today, I got back to work. Last week, my divorce was finalized and my last name is, once again, my maiden name. Since I'm a teacher, all my students will remember me by my ex-husband's last name. I get to be reminded every day that my marriage failed until everyone memorizes my maiden name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16648) - you deserved it (2364)
On 09/05/2012 at 11:27pm - work - by divorcee - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching TV and there were penguins laying eggs. He said, "Penguins are mammals, they don't lay eggs." I replied, "Penguins are birds." We fought about it for ages until he realised that I was right, and has since stopped talking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15354) - you deserved it (1540)
On 09/02/2012 at 8:10pm - animals - by difference between birds and mammals. - Australia
Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19260) - you deserved it (2959)
On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17568) - you deserved it (2586)
On 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18164) - you deserved it (1626)
On 09/02/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by ImOverHere (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that if a guy you've been dating starts acting weird, there's probably a reason why. Like, perhaps, a wife and two kids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21865) - you deserved it (1822)
On 08/31/2012 at 8:02am - love - by yonanon - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15997) - you deserved it (3254) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/31/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by TBTC (woman) - France (Pays de la Loire)
Friday 24 May 2013
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