uzee

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Offline (the 11/09/2016 at 2:32pm)

uzee

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 March 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 15591
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About uzee : Life is a moment. It's our job to make it seem like it lasts forever

uzee's page activity

Visits<b>oDontFuckMyL1fe</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 12:45am<b>biasedshooter</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 10:40am<b>iprene</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 5:28am<b>fmlcharlii</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 1:50am<b>Jenn_Ohio</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 2:04pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 7:50am<b>LAUREN_1053</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 3:59am<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 5:09am<b>TeJadaTJD</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:45pm<b>imjanty</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 5:22am<b>simplyblades</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 8:40pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 6:38am<b>Whynotnowandhere</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 4:22pm<b>akosua</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 6:45pm<b>legendofizzy</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 5:06am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 1:40pm<b>veebiter</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 7:08pm<b>ScottMC</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 1:31pm

uzee's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of uzee's badges

uzee's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 12:26pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for knowing more about Batman than he does. He's only seen some of the movies, and as a kid my dad owned a comic book store. He still doesn't see why I should know more, because I'm a girl, and "girls aren't supposed to know about super heroes." FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2013 at 5:48pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML

by lovehurts / 10/14/2013 at 12:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

by HSampsON / 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm / Niger (Niamey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

by not getting laid / 10/13/2013 at 10:38am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my boyfriend blew me off yet again because he claims he has a responsibility as a "crew leader" to train and recruit members at all times, to accommodate all time zones. GTA V is ruining our relationship. FML

by carla6991 / 10/09/2013 at 4:16pm / United States (Florida) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was working a kid's birthday party dressed as a clown. The child's mother made me change because he was scared of clowns. The only thing I had in my car was a princess costume that was owned by a girl co-worker. So for 4 hours I had to entertain in a tight pink dress. I'm a guy. FML

by Allycat / 10/08/2013 at 9:19pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, a cute guy ditched his date and walked up to me, calling me beautiful. Not knowing how to reply, I just blushed. His date got angry and left. "Sorry. I take that back," he then said. "I was just trying to get rid of her. Thanks anyway." FML

by okaythen / 10/04/2013 at 5:37am / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Love

Today, after 6 months of sex, my boyfriend showered himself with praise for managing, for the first time ever, to stretch the act out to a full minute. FML

by Sooz / 10/02/2013 at 9:18pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my two parrots decided that my head was the best place to have sex. FML

by NestHead / 10/01/2013 at 1:32pm / Russian Federation (Moscow City) / Animals

Today, my parents surprised me by redecorating my room. I think they were more surprised by the box of naughty toys under my bed. FML

by A.Summers / 09/30/2013 at 6:41pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Intimacy

Today, I texted a cute picture of my boyfriend and me to my mom, who lives very far away. She replied saying that my Photoshop skills are great, but that I don't need to go so far to pretend that anyone would date me, and that there's no shame in being single at 25. FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2013 at 12:12am / United States / Love

Today, my boss' son is training to take over my job as head translator, after having convinced his dad that he's fluent in Spanish, and that my skills suck. I soon walked in on him using Google Translate on a legal document. My boss refuses to believe me. FML

by anahira6 / 09/27/2013 at 3:41pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML

by not_fakingit / 09/22/2013 at 12:26am / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML

by oops / 09/20/2013 at 9:30pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy