About uzee : Life is a moment. It's our job to make it seem like it lasts forever
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52661) - you deserved it (2706)
On 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands
Today, I was at dance rehearsal. As a male dancer I like to keep the fact that I dance a secret because of the stupid stereotypes male dancers have. This plan was quickly shot down when I discovered I was performing at my school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34506) - you deserved it (4595)
On 05/03/2013 at 8:39pm - misc - by DeActivated (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML
I agree, your life sucks (44277) - you deserved it (4030)
On 05/03/2013 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany
Today, my boss fired me for acting "inappropriately" at work. I gave him a hug. He's my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57289) - you deserved it (6631)
On 05/03/2013 at 11:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22680) - you deserved it (60496)
On 05/03/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by acnecream - Finland (Eastern Finland)
Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19844) - you deserved it (42774)
On 05/01/2013 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47662) - you deserved it (3364)
On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46716) - you deserved it (4066)
On 04/30/2013 at 3:54am - money - by ShowerGirl (woman) - United States
Today, my fiancée broke off our engagement. For some bizarre reason, she'd hidden a pair of expensive boots and her iPad underneath our ride-on mower. I turned the mower on and destroyed both without realizing it. According to her, the fault is all mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45117) - you deserved it (2846)
On 04/29/2013 at 2:07pm - love - by Wow. Really? - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35646) - you deserved it (8753)
On 04/29/2013 at 3:08am - intimacy - by unforgettablee (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheered for us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement died down, she leaned over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML
I agree, your life sucks (64960) - you deserved it (8396)
On 04/26/2013 at 5:17am - love - by Anonymous -
Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46040) - you deserved it (2102)
On 04/26/2013 at 1:20am - love - by sad guy - United States
Today, I finally hooked up with the guy that I have been in love with forever. If there is such a thing as soul mates, this guy is it. He's my best friend in the whole world. It was the worst sex I have ever had. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49272) - you deserved it (9468)
On 04/25/2013 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Live Sweet -
Today, I was fired on my second day of work after a year and a half of unemployment. Apparently, my "tendency to solve problems instead of just accepting them made the other workers uneasy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (43694) - you deserved it (2710)
On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - work - by anonymous (man) - Germany
Today, I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me, saying she couldn't be with someone who "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep, I think I just got dumped for myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48753) - you deserved it (6600)
On 04/23/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by BestBF - United States (Nebraska)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
