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About uzee : Life is a moment. It's our job to make it seem like it lasts forever
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Today, my boyfriend of two years logged into my Facebook account and broke up with himself. He is now receiving loads of sympathy, while I'm being accused of lying about it to save my reputation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7585) - you deserved it (722)
On 05/13/2012 at 5:26pm - love - by soso (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams to come over for a movie. When I answered the door, my little brother ran up behind me, yelled "geronimo" and pulled down my pants and underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7904) - you deserved it (588)
On 05/13/2012 at 8:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I really had to pee while babysitting. Normally this isn't a problem, except the kids were sleeping and going potty would wake them up right before their parents were due home. Desperate, I decided to pee in a cup in the kitchen and wash it down the sink. Their parents came home mid-stream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1872) - you deserved it (10303)
On 05/13/2012 at 2:26am - work - by fired - United States (Oregon)
Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5610) - you deserved it (948)
On 05/12/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by Andy (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend sat me down for a "confession". His confession consisted of him saying that "women are like a bag of chips," and that while you can love the smokey BBQ flavor, every once in a while you just have to go for some salt and vinegar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7072) - you deserved it (508)
On 05/12/2012 at 4:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)
Today, my fiancé got drunk at our wedding reception and announced to his and my family what we do in bed. And it was pretty detailed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5572) - you deserved it (832)
On 05/12/2012 at 1:27am - intimacy - by crazyman. - United States (Texas)
Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1812) - you deserved it (11473)
On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1828) - you deserved it (10554)
On 05/12/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Hunter101 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, it was my birthday. I was heading back to my apartment and I heard noises inside the door. Assuming it was the surprise party I'd hinted at, I flicked on the lights as two heavy guys pushed past me. I was robbed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8047) - you deserved it (436)
On 05/10/2012 at 8:28pm - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15745) - you deserved it (936)
On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5283) - you deserved it (1142)
On 05/10/2012 at 3:14pm - misc - by Amy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5105) - you deserved it (1349)
On 05/10/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by tinydancer (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was on an airplane, waiting to go to the bathroom. After a few minutes, the man behind me asked what I was waiting for, and checked the bathroom. It was empty, and there was a big line behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2044) - you deserved it (5597)
On 05/10/2012 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I realized I was getting a bit chubbier than usual. I decided to go for a little jog to stay in shape. Little did I know, my neighbors that just moved in brought along with them, a fully grown German Shepherd. Not tamed. My "jog" quickly turned into a "sprint for my life". FML
I agree, your life sucks (6598) - you deserved it (711)
On 05/09/2012 at 11:34pm - misc - by I Don't Exorcise - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6518) - you deserved it (708)
On 05/09/2012 at 6:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)
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