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Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26802) - you deserved it (6958)
On 05/24/2013 at 10:00am - love - by datgirl92 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my 6-year-old son spotted a bumper sticker that said, "Get any closer and I'll fart." He thought this was so hilarious that he had to repeat it to everyone he met. Including my doctor, my grandma, and my boss at "bring your kid to work day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20254) - you deserved it (2618)
On 05/23/2013 at 6:48pm - kids - by Mary (woman) - United States
Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28732) - you deserved it (2488)
On 05/23/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by eric4 (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38834) - you deserved it (2935)
On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I confronted my boss to find out why I was denied a promotion that she promised to me. Her response? "You should know by now I'm a liar. Not my fault if you believe the things I say." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25755) - you deserved it (2266)
On 05/22/2013 at 5:48pm - work - by Snurkles McGee (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40998) - you deserved it (3405)
On 05/22/2013 at 1:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I e-mailed the on-line instructor for my job, telling her that I had fallen behind in my work due to my grandmother's passing and the subsequent funeral arrangements, but that I would catch up this week. Her reply? "OK. Hope your grandmother gets better soon." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33659) - you deserved it (2106)
On 05/22/2013 at 8:28am - misc - by projectfain - United States (Ohio)
Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32426) - you deserved it (6740)
On 05/19/2013 at 2:02pm - love - by SariLone (woman) - India (Maharashtra)
Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42284) - you deserved it (3943)
On 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by Urgghh (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my sisters and I pitched together nearly $500 to send my mom to the spa for Mother's Day. We put the printed sheet with her info into a little box with our card on top. When she opened it, she freaked out and started hugging my dad. Turns out he switched the cards and took all the credit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50764) - you deserved it (2993)
On 05/12/2013 at 8:09am - misc - by lachaisse - United States (Ohio)
Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45663) - you deserved it (16017)
On 05/12/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by peallow (woman) - Puerto Rico
Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53468) - you deserved it (3678)
On 05/08/2013 at 10:44am - intimacy - by oops - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was singing horribly in the shower. Without me knowing, my sister recorded my singing and set it as my ringtone. My phone rang in class and everyone heard it. My new nickname is American Idol. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41465) - you deserved it (8697)
On 05/08/2013 at 10:00am - kids - by kprince - United States (California)
Today, it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42914) - you deserved it (7757)
On 05/07/2013 at 8:48am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my ex won a writing competition. His story was inspired by our relationship. In it, I'm a serial killing prostitute. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41824) - you deserved it (6463)
On 05/07/2013 at 3:45am - love - by serialkillingex (man) - Netherlands
Friday 24 May 2013
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