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usafsamy27

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usafsamy27

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  • Number of visits : 372
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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usafsamy27's page activity

Visits<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 7:49pm

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usafsamy27's favorite FMLs

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

#16449288
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65315) - you deserved it (3607)

On 06/01/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by aarone23 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, when I weighed myself on my scale, it broke. FML

#16417126
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33650) - you deserved it (26458)

On 05/30/2011 at 12:12pm - misc - by trev - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML

#16416725
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51210) - you deserved it (4576)

On 05/30/2011 at 11:46am - misc - by Jess - United States

Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML

#16403007
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36961) - you deserved it (10401)

On 05/29/2011 at 2:22pm - animals - by Brie - United States

Today, it was my birthday. Some 17 year olds will receive cars as presents from their parents. Mine, however, booked me a plot in the local graveyard. FML

#16342840
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44707) - you deserved it (4736)

On 05/25/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Brilliant... (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my boyfriend brought me home flowers and candy for the first time in our 1 year relationship. Thinking he was going to finally propose, I got excited. I asked why he was being so sweet, and he responded with, "I thought you'd take the breakup better this way." FML

#13420604
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31193) - you deserved it (5891)

On 10/12/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by lovelesslonely (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, after me and my boyfriend had pretty much amazing sex, he took off the condom and started swinging it back and forth, all while making the sounds of a clock and saying, "You are getting sleepy." FML

#13363773
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27398) - you deserved it (6140)

On 10/08/2010 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

#13145011
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50105) - you deserved it (3474)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML

#7967953
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32655) - you deserved it (3432)

On 02/07/2010 at 9:18am - work - by Ryan - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of my dad constantly hitting on her. Not because she was disgusted, but because she wants to date him. FML

#7584651
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50549) - you deserved it (2575)

On 01/26/2010 at 2:35am - love - by Junior (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML

#6532769
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28384) - you deserved it (8670)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by SoVeryMonday (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 4 years. Her response? First, she threw up all over me and then she started crying hysterically. I'll take that as a no. FML

#6267863
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32792) - you deserved it (2325)

On 11/12/2009 at 12:36am - love - by youmakemesick - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was on my computer when the girl that I really like instant-messages me. I went to type back, accidentally pressed control-V, and posted an entire article on how to remove genital warts. FML

#5579268
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13392) - you deserved it (41041)

On 10/01/2009 at 1:58am - health - by Garrett (man) - United States (Oregon) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I found out that the horrific smell coming from somewhere in my kitchen was a rotting dead mouse in my dishwasher. I have been eating off plates washed in dead-mouse water for the past week. FML

#4830976
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52921) - you deserved it (10027)

On 08/26/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by hantavirus (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went out to dinner with my brother. There was a very attractive man sitting a few tables away who kept glancing at me. When my brother excused himself to the bathroom, the man worked up the courage to come over and introduce himself to me. He asked me if my brother was single. FML

#3104897
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60599) - you deserved it (4551)

On 06/21/2009 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by Kat (woman) - United States



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