Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About upyourzlolz : Honestly, I have no life.
But you still wanna here about me? Fine then.
I use FML because I feel bad about not using up my data plan. I believe that's justified.
I am a necrophiliac. And a pedophile.
My penis is incredibly small. 1.86 inches. Erect.
I am called "upyourzlolz" because I will get up yours, and then I will lol.
People I like (no particular order)
People I hate
^Note that if you're on that list, it may not be that I exactly hate you. It's just that you constantly put comments that highly irritate me in an attempt to be witty, but end up being stupid. Congrats.
No. I'm not a Grammar Nazi. I'm in Grammar Youth.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
Today, after I went to collect my pay for babysitting, the girl's dad pulled the old "Can I pay you in Trident Layers?" bull on me. Hoping to show that I wasn't going to play ball, I told him that watching his gran inhale a cock would be funnier. If scowls could kill... FML
Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML