Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

unicornofthesea

Search for a member

unicornofthesea

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 682
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About unicornofthesea : hark! i am an artist!

no, seriously, i am. you can find me @rimfy.deviantart.com

narwhals. they are cool.

unicornofthesea's page activity

Visits<b>washingtonb</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 9:12pm<b>youtubetre</b> - the 05/18/2012 at 12:11pm<b>CloudEnvy</b> - the 02/29/2012 at 3:02pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 02/08/2012 at 6:54pm<b>sharktat2</b> - the 01/29/2012 at 4:10pm<b>SayPeanuts</b> - the 01/10/2012 at 5:51pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 11/17/2011 at 9:05pm<b>urcadox</b> - the 11/14/2011 at 1:35am<b>KiddNYC1O</b> - the 11/11/2011 at 11:29pm<b>Cairo_</b> - the 11/03/2011 at 9:40pm<b>sharpblade123</b> - the 11/02/2011 at 5:20pm<b>Instant_Paradox</b> - the 11/02/2011 at 6:09am<b>Vasin</b> - the 10/25/2011 at 4:43am<b>thekewlest69</b> - the 10/25/2011 at 4:34am<b>Ricebubble</b> - the 09/30/2011 at 4:16pm<b>Mirjam</b> - the 09/29/2011 at 9:25am<b>RubenTheGreek</b> - the 09/28/2011 at 2:36pm<b>Bobby_Jo</b> - the 09/26/2011 at 5:45pm

unicornofthesea's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of unicornofthesea's badges

unicornofthesea's favorite FMLs

Today, I washed my sheets. They wouldn't dry quick enough, so I had to use my old Buzz Lightyear sheets. My new girlfriend took it upon herself to become a damn psychic and pay me a surprise visit right there and then. FML

#19293658
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20197) - you deserved it (3753)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by babysheets (man) - Uruguay (Montevideo)

Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML

#19177249
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23245) - you deserved it (2597)

On 02/27/2012 at 7:37pm - misc - by Username (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17172) - you deserved it (29494)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had a band concert and my mum got kicked out. She screamed "BORING!" in the middle of it. FML

#18803837
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25781) - you deserved it (2976)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:34am - misc - by katie876 (woman) - United States

Today, I ignored my phone, as my mother has dementia and calls me 15 or so times a day, thinking each time is the first. I braved horrendous rain and gale-force winds to go to work. Turns out it was work calling to tell me not to bother coming in. FML

Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML

#18554140
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11715) - you deserved it (29264)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm - work - by Bob smith (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was working on the computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eye patch in a couple of days. FML

#18549843
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29370) - you deserved it (2231)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:03am - health - by suhleedah18 - United States

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17318) - you deserved it (31310)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, there was a guy following me, so to avoid him, I crouched down and basically waddled behind a wall to get past him. Sure enough, first thing I see when I get around the corner, while still waddling, was an unhappy midget couple staring right at me. FML

#17894609
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25939) - you deserved it (5175)

On 10/03/2011 at 8:37am - misc - by Mike Polk - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML

#17794550
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31158) - you deserved it (5473)

On 09/21/2011 at 9:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was fired for being a very happy and perky employee. According to my boss, it freaks both the customers and my co-workers out. FML

#17780072
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24917) - you deserved it (6195)

On 09/19/2011 at 11:56am - work - by Lexiebear27 - United States

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29528) - you deserved it (8248)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my family came to see me in my first acting role in Romeo and Juliet. It all went reasonably well for the first half hour or so, after which my seemingly shitfaced aunt started heckling and saying "that's what she said" after every line, before eventually being thrown out by security. FML

#17760005
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24136) - you deserved it (2064)

On 09/16/2011 at 8:25pm - work - by Mandy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

#17746655
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26539) - you deserved it (5445)

On 09/14/2011 at 8:21pm - kids - by unknown - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to hold hands with plastic "horror hand" I bought for Halloween. FML

#17734152
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22832) - you deserved it (8184)

On 09/13/2011 at 2:11am - love - by Penkkis (woman) - Finland (Lapland)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: