About ugh_a_lug : I wonder why you are reading this. It is probably because I said something that amused you or made you angry. You're welcome either way.
If you would like to know more about me, here is my life story:
I spent many days and many nights in a dark, warm land. I had all the food I needed and slept anytime I wished. It was a fruitful place. Approximately 272 days passed in this sanctuary. However, I was all alone and desired company. I knew deep down inside me that there was more to see of the universe. I decided to explore beyond the world I knew so well. It was a harrowing journey trying to escape. The walls seemed to constrict around me and were filled with screams. Nevertheless, I fought on. Suddenly there was a bright light. The light grew bigger and bigger until it blinded me. After there was nothing but the bright light, I felt the walls fall away behind me and I emerged into the world.
And that was how I was born. The rest of my life is trivial. The end.
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Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30412) - you deserved it (4415)
On 03/15/2011 at 10:05pm - kids - by anonymous -
Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53884) - you deserved it (3801)
On 12/02/2010 at 8:20am - love - by mrdentist -
Today, I woke up to a man stroking my leg while smelling my hair. I asked my roommate who he was and she said, "Oh, that's just my brother. He needs a place to stay and he will be living with us until June. Didn't I tell you that?" No, you didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25147) - you deserved it (1787)
On 11/23/2010 at 10:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27936) - you deserved it (3533)
Today, I woke up to find my new roommate staring straight at me. She then went on to say, "I love how you sleep," and continued to stare. I live in a residence off campus and I've already changed roommates twice this year. I'm stuck with a person who stares at me sleep for the next two years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21801) - you deserved it (2605)
On 11/10/2010 at 11:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina (Cordoba)
Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25211) - you deserved it (4137)
On 11/08/2010 at 5:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)
Today, I had a small gathering of family and friends over to celebrate my son's baptism. One of my friends happens to be a police officer. The entire event consisted of him arresting three of my family members. Don't worry, he came back to get some cake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18584) - you deserved it (2848)
On 11/07/2010 at 8:09pm - misc - by jadehin (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was sitting on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy came and sat next to me. Next thing I know, he farts loudly, then proudly looks my way. I stared back in shock. He says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49154) - you deserved it (9960)
On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29211) - you deserved it (2257)
On 10/20/2010 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was walking to school. I started running to catch up with my friend. I yelled her name, and she turned around in time to watch me slip on a sheet of ice, fall face first, and pass out. When she ran to my side, I unconsciously peed on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22067) - you deserved it (2791)
On 10/16/2010 at 11:18am - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38232) - you deserved it (10977)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33032) - you deserved it (6590)
On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while babysitting a six year old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his pants/undies and pointed to his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30843) - you deserved it (3075)
On 01/17/2010 at 7:32pm - kids - by Michele (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26855) - you deserved it (2467)
On 01/10/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by wowhoopla - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26925) - you deserved it (2071)
On 01/08/2010 at 2:23am - kids - by PeanutlyDisabled - France
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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