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Offline (the 08/10/2014 at 8:09pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2561
  • Number of comments : 117
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ugh_a_lug : I wonder why you are reading this. It is probably because I said something that amused you or made you angry. You're welcome either way.

If you would like to know more about me, here is my life story:
I spent many days and many nights in a dark, warm land. I had all the food I needed and slept anytime I wished. It was a fruitful place. Approximately 272 days passed in this sanctuary. However, I was all alone and desired company. I knew deep down inside me that there was more to see of the universe. I decided to explore beyond the world I knew so well. It was a harrowing journey trying to escape. The walls seemed to constrict around me and were filled with screams. Nevertheless, I fought on. Suddenly there was a bright light. The light grew bigger and bigger until it blinded me. After there was nothing but the bright light, I felt the walls fall away behind me and I emerged into the world.

And that was how I was born. The rest of my life is trivial. The end.

ugh_a_lug's page activity

Visits<b>Spongegar123</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 5:22am<b>wickedhot</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 3:49am<b>IsaacAmpora</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 11:47am<b>dontthinkso</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 12:21pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 5:01pm<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 10:57pm<b>ViktorCruz</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 3:24pm<b>fobgirl10171</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 12:29am<b>thgame9896</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 6:05pm<b>4EverMarie</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 5:22pm<b>melons</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 6:49pm<b>bubbs4bubbs</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 12:21am<b>dlopez1501</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 5:33pm<b>DJLGC</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 10:23pm<b>whiplash2289</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 1:15am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:33pm<b>Evii</b> - the 10/29/2010 at 12:08am<b>quepasaguapo</b> - the 10/23/2010 at 1:06am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 11:01pm

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ugh_a_lug's favorite FMLs

Today, I figured out how serious my weight problem really is when my boyfriend had to lift a fat roll before he could enter me. FML

by gemma / 09/11/2012 at 12:56pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Intimacy

Today, at a supermarket entrance, a seemingly drunk old lady said, "Sir?" as I passed by. I just ignored her and walked in. When I walked out with my groceries fifteen minutes later, several people were standing around her, calling for an ambulance. She'd passed out on the ground. FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2012 at 1:26pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Miscellaneous

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

by blakeintheoffice / 08/08/2012 at 9:53am / United States / Work

Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML

by ohai95 / 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm / United States / Health

Today, after backpacking acrossing Europe for a month, I picked up my dog from the doghouse. No one will listen to me or acknowledge the fact that he's now missing two toes. FML

by tagteam / 07/05/2012 at 12:30pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

by Scared / 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

by wtf is wrong with my country / 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere my cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having put my cat outside. FML

by S12Sophia / 05/02/2012 at 6:06pm / France / Intimacy

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

by Baustigt / 04/10/2012 at 6:48am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after being filled with joy after seeing my very elderly cat finally enjoying the sun in my garden, I skipped over to give her a hug. Turns out she was taking a shit. FML

by Ew. / 04/09/2012 at 11:22am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, while at work, I found a dead dog in a freezer. Turns out it's been in there for over 3 years. FML

by Scarred / 04/03/2012 at 11:27pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, I realized that something's wrong when you have to go to a mental hospital for a family reunion. FML

by neverthesame / 03/28/2012 at 10:53pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2012 at 8:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy