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ugh_a_lug
  • Town/Country : Nilbog
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1014
  • Number of comments : 117
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ugh_a_lug : I wonder why you are reading this. It is probably because I said something that amused you or made you angry. You're welcome either way.


If you would like to know more about me, here is my life story:
I spent many days and many nights in a dark, warm land. I had all the food I needed and slept anytime I wished. It was a fruitful place. Approximately 272 days passed in this sanctuary. However, I was all alone and desired company. I knew deep down inside me that there was more to see of the universe. I decided to explore beyond the world I knew so well. It was a harrowing journey trying to escape. The walls seemed to constrict around me and were filled with screams. Nevertheless, I fought on. Suddenly there was a bright light. The light grew bigger and bigger until it blinded me. After there was nothing but the bright light, I felt the walls fall away behind me and I emerged into the world.

And that was how I was born. The rest of my life is trivial. The end.

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ugh_a_lug's favorite FMLs

Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML

#20008307
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21368) - you deserved it (4928)

On 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by ohai95 (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

#19981576
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19135) - you deserved it (1402)

On 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after backpacking acrossing Europe for a month, I picked up my dog from the doghouse. No one will listen to me or acknowledge the fact that he's now missing two toes. FML

#19895009
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25596) - you deserved it (1613)

On 07/05/2012 at 12:30pm - animals - by tagteam - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

#19734981
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20849) - you deserved it (1980)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

#19592298
367 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24714) - you deserved it (2554)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere my cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having put my cat outside. FML

#19564569
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21913) - you deserved it (3375)

On 05/02/2012 at 6:06pm - intimacy - by S12Sophia (woman) - France

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
575 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9702) - you deserved it (39870) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

Today, after being filled with joy after seeing my very elderly cat finally enjoying the sun in my garden, I skipped over to give her a hug. Turns out she was taking a shit. FML

#19435990
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11995) - you deserved it (6081)

On 04/09/2012 at 11:22am - animals - by Ew. (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while at work, I found a dead dog in a freezer. Turns out it's been in there for over 3 years. FML

#19404286
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19676) - you deserved it (1295)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:27pm - animals - by Scarred (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized that something's wrong when you have to go to a mental hospital for a family reunion. FML

#19367140
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18397) - you deserved it (1180)

On 03/28/2012 at 10:53pm - misc - by neverthesame - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

#19343662
387 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30265) - you deserved it (8666)

On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML

#19320311
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8164) - you deserved it (45179)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML

#19276451
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20773) - you deserved it (1897)

On 03/14/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by CierraJordan - United States (Utah)

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

#19263580
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28385) - you deserved it (4124)

On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)



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