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tylermas1234123

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tylermas1234123

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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 27
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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tylermas1234123's favorite FMLs

Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML

#19983416
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37733) - you deserved it (8102)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML

#19979145
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23844) - you deserved it (16978)

On 07/23/2012 at 3:35am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10690) - you deserved it (36785)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML

#19598772
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11120) - you deserved it (36342)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by polimeros (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

#19575752
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24754) - you deserved it (4286)

On 05/05/2012 at 1:42am - intimacy - by CALIdime_15 - United States

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

#19420355
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25319) - you deserved it (9452)

On 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Tanner - United States (Oregon)

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

#19277345
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10149) - you deserved it (31490)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States

Today, my mom went through my textbook and sharpied everything that could be "pornographic." It's a high-school biology textbook. FML

#18369717
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28071) - you deserved it (1669)

On 11/27/2011 at 8:07pm - misc - by wow - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally decided to do regular biology rather than honors biology, thinking honors would be too hard. My first day in regular biology, my lab partner asked me whether a rock was alive or not. FML

Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

#8045354
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45094) - you deserved it (3040)

On 02/09/2010 at 7:22am - health - by SickSmick (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I went to the beach. I was in the ocean and I looked over my shoulder and saw a big black spot. Knowing that there were big crabs on the beach, I screamed. Everyone in the water heard including the lifeguards. It turns out it was just my shadow. FML

#3921202
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8525) - you deserved it (46568)

On 07/21/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by Thalassophobic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (252939) - you deserved it (59794)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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