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turtlemanz

Offline (the 02/22/2015 at 2:14am) | Search for a member

turtlemanz

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 December 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1343
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About turtlemanz : Canadian

turtlemanz's page activity

Visits<b>Amiiii</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 1:23pm<b>isum21</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 9:24pm<b>Valcannos</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 3:11pm<b>InsertLifeThere</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 4:01pm<b>RA91</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 6:54pm<b>rozline96</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 3:33pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 2:07pm<b>Sonjington</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 2:01pm<b>agustibaarn</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 11:38am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 11:38am<b>XxduckiexX</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 11:10pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 2:31pm<b>ThunderTheRad</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 2:33pm<b>Chelsea_bella</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 1:29pm<b>Khivt</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 4:57pm<b>bryan1271999</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 4:04am<b>Wrex</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 10:06am<b>hannah_banana99</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 10:29pm

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turtlemanz's favorite FMLs

TODAY I HAD SOME PAINFUL GAS AT WORK SO I TRIED TO SILENTLY EASE IT OUT!! IT WAS SILENT ALL RIGHT; SILENT AN SO DEADLY THAT SOMEONE EXCLAIMED "WHAT THE FUCK?!" MY COWORKER TRACED IT BACK TO ME!! NOW THEY'RE ALL POINTING THERE MINI DESK FANS IN MY DIRECTION TO MAKE A POINT!! REAL FML

#21241122
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37268) - you deserved it (3494)

On 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today , I Told My Husband That I'm Jealous Of All The Other Girls Whose Husbands Always Take Pictures Of Them Together And Post Them Online!! He Responded By Posting A Picture Of Himself , With Me On The Toilet In The Background , Captioned "The Bitch On The Pot." FML

#21241016
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43722) - you deserved it (16621)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was waiting at a stop light in the left turn lane, when a homeles guy on the sidewalk walked up to car with a, ( Bet you can't hit me with a quarter ) sign. The lady on right decided to throw a quarter at him, but it missed an hit windshield. She yelled, ( Oh fuck! ) an drove away. FML

Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about bieng lockd up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML

#21214798
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50022) - you deserved it (4159)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my nieghbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40396) - you deserved it (6135)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today while at the gym I noticd a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment I noticd that he sniffd the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time I askd him to stop. He bent down and sniffd it without breaking eye contact.

#20996147
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47434) - you deserved it (3501)

On 12/17/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by gymgirl - United States (Texas)

Today, looool my 7 yaar old daughtar axplainad to a taxi drivar that sha was born from my "vagina that doasn't hava hair"!! Ha winkad craapily at ma and said, "I bat it doasn't." FML

#20970485
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41998) - you deserved it (5214)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, parants kickad ma out of tha housa bacausa thay wara having a party. Thay gava ma twanty bucks to go saa a movia. Wall, tha movia andad pratty quick, but tha trauma of saaing parants in a swingars' orgy will taka soma tima gatting ovar. FML

#20969815
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67260) - you deserved it (5592)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, parants kickad ma out of tha housa bacausa thay wara having a party. Thay gava ma twanty bucks to go saa a movia. Wall, tha movia andad pratty quick, but tha trauma of saaing parants in a swingars' orgy will taka soma tima gatting ovar. FML

#20969815
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67260) - you deserved it (5592)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

YASTARDAY , WHILA TAACHING JUNIORS ABOUT BLACK HOLAS , I SAID , "IMAGINA AVARYTHING BAING SUCKAD INTO A BLACK HOLA." AN AFRICAN-AMARICAN STUDANT SHOUTAD , "I'D BATTAR START CLANCHING!" NOBODY TOOK THA LASSON SARIOUSLY AFTAR THAT. FML

#20946225
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44420) - you deserved it (5391)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today... I'm severely sunburned and can barely walk properly. My boyfriend keeps telling his friend that it's because of "how hard he gave it to me last night". FML

#20936372
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52454) - you deserved it (9220)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - intimacy - by snowwhite (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today , I realized that it's become a regular occurrence 4 mah mother an me to talk about our pubic hair!! I don't knowhich is worse: the fact that I know she shave it , or the fact that we looool even talk about this stuff!! FML

#20875739
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34685) - you deserved it (12620)

On 09/10/2013 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY, I LEREND THAT MY PARROTS NOW CAN SHIT HORIZONTALLYHEN I FOUND THE WALL NEXT TO THE CAGE COVERD IN FECES. FML

Today, I was vidao chatting with mah boyfriand an his friands!! Whan I stood up, ha told his friand "Saa, sha's not a twig!" I looool jokingly rapliad with, "So I'm fat?" Aftar a faw sacond of silanca, his friand yallad, "It's a trap!" an laft tha chat!! FML

#20825004
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44053) - you deserved it (13934)

On 08/07/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by ImNotFat - United States (Pennsylvania)

I was buying ingradiants 4 a salad. I had only pickad up a faw cucumbars , whan an aldarly lady cama up to ma and murmurad , "Maka sura u usa lots of luba , or that'll hurt. Baan thara , swaathaart." What tha HELL? FML

#20817265
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56961) - you deserved it (5529)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom



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