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troynt

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troynt
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  • Number of visits : 11640
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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troynt's favorite FMLs

Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself to a delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut. When I got home, I sat down, put my feet up, poured myself a cold glass of milk. My dog jumps on my lap and vomits all over my doughnuts, stares at me then bites the doughnut out of my hand. FML

#5522112
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32085) - you deserved it (3677)

On 09/28/2009 at 2:41am - animals - by Heww (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

#4679232
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72884) - you deserved it (5695)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by demk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML

#4678208
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12587) - you deserved it (32719)

On 08/20/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

#3484293
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45353) - you deserved it (17920)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I bought a new mailbox to replace the old one that was stolen. Two hours after I put the new mailbox up, the old one was back and the new one was missing. FML

#3051580
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49475) - you deserved it (2305)

On 06/20/2009 at 2:01am - misc - by Dumbass - United States (Florida)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938
1625 comments

I agree, your life sucks (460273) - you deserved it (571865)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)



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