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transilvanianson's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/21/2012 at 12:50am / Canada / Health
by Anonymous / 03/12/2012 at 12:16am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I got so bored that I drew a face on my index finger, and made a video of me garrotting it with a string. I ended up rupturing a blood vessel, and had to think up a cover story for my girlfriend to explain my screaming. FML
by Jared / 02/25/2012 at 2:09pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 12:18am / United States / Love
by Kevin / 02/13/2012 at 1:00am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 02/11/2012 at 11:25pm / United States / Transportation
Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
by great / 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm / United States / Work
by Jarryd / 02/10/2012 at 12:40am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/10/2012 at 12:31am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML
by Bonapp / 02/09/2012 at 5:11pm / France / Miscellaneous
by Silver_Samurai / 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm / Netherlands / Work
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
by manhandled / 02/01/2012 at 1:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
by ugh / 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm / United States / Intimacy
by HylianFox / 01/26/2012 at 11:07pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…