Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

torio123

Offline (the 02/02/2014 at 10:42pm) | Search for a member

torio123

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 June 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2507
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About torio123 : hi my name is tori and i like strange music and pizza c:

torisux666.tumblr.com

torio123's page activity

Visits<b>JR7ISME</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:02pm<b>silon5</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 8:45pm<b>CamS115</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 1:06pm<b>LittlestPrincess</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 3:28am<b>decimater</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 11:00pm<b>blackhawkdown69</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 1:03am<b>sillylittlesheep</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 3:58am<b>Demonking</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 8:55am<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 6:28pm<b>AGhost5445</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 9:01pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 4:59pm<b>KyngJulian</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 3:28pm<b>02Carter</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 2:18pm<b>acetl87</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 1:44pm<b>overmyer2013</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 1:32pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 10:10am<b>Swedish_Eagle</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 10:09am<b>naxeeb</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 9:09am

torio123's FML badges

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of torio123's badges

torio123's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, my stomach hurt and I passed gas for relief. Moments later, I discovered that my loose, silent "fart" was actually a wet, sneaky shart. The mess was beyond repair; I had to fake a family emergency and crept out of the office so that my coworkers wouldn't see my obvious crap stain. FML

#5796915
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31514) - you deserved it (8020)

On 10/12/2009 at 2:10pm - health - by Few_Absolutes (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML

#5330246
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34983) - you deserved it (3682)

On 09/18/2009 at 10:27am - animals - by poopEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out the high school I have been doing at home for the past 3 years isn't accredited and doesn't count for anything. I'm 18 and starting high school as a freshman next year. FML

#5252040
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54445) - you deserved it (17698)

On 09/14/2009 at 2:58pm - misc - by diplomaless (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML

#4326549
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20265) - you deserved it (42526)

On 08/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by PeepShow (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML

#3361418
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55720) - you deserved it (8562)

On 06/30/2009 at 7:53am - health - by poopshooter101 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML

#3333969
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45043) - you deserved it (11388)

On 06/29/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by merkris (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML

#1927832
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61872) - you deserved it (5790)

On 05/14/2009 at 11:24am - kids - by TwinDad (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

#1617373
513 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96600) - you deserved it (265885)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on somewhat of a blind date. The date was OK until he tried to spoon feed me. This didn't go over so well. Later, I noticed a strange looking brief case he was carrying. I asked him what it was and he whipped out 5 yoyos and did a yoyo show in the middle of the restaurant. FML

#1214403
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59299) - you deserved it (6150)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:24am - misc - by 11321 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38419) - you deserved it (129028)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: