About torio123 : don't touch me
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torio123's favorite FMLs
by Nxydolli / 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm / United Kingdom (Durham) / Geek
by neverdatingacopagain / 04/25/2011 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Transportation
Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML
by ShakeRattleHiss / 04/20/2011 at 11:25am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, my family came back from holiday to discover that my little sister had messed with the cat flap before we left. Several stray cats were able to come in, but were unable to get out, and left shit in various areas around the house. FML
by cathouse / 03/26/2011 at 3:27pm / United Kingdom (North Down) / Animals
by sushi hater / 03/13/2011 at 2:55pm / United States (Colorado) / Health
by insomnitude / 03/05/2011 at 1:55am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
by neverhavingkids / 01/20/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (California) / Geek
Today, my car broke down. My boyfriend, who is not too handy, insisted on fixing it. He called me outside and said he was done and started the engine. Moments after rejoicing, it burst into flames. FML
by cartrouble / 11/24/2010 at 10:52pm / United States (North Dakota) / Transportation
by uhoh901 / 03/25/2010 at 7:07am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by EpicUsername / 03/10/2010 at 8:14pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals
by Anonymous / 01/05/2010 at 7:49am / India (Madhya Pradesh) / Miscellaneous
Today, while dining at a restaurant I heard a women choking. I immediately ran to her, wrapped my arms around her and started giving her abdominal thrusts. She freed herself and slapped me. Turns out she wasn't choking, she was just laughing. FML
by helper / 12/01/2009 at 1:15am / Costa Rica (Heredia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML
by annonymous / 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/26/2009 at 11:26pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, at work, my stomach hurt and I passed gas for relief. Moments later, I discovered that my loose, silent "fart" was actually a wet, sneaky shart. The mess was beyond repair; I had to fake a family emergency and crept out of the office so that my coworkers wouldn't see my obvious crap stain. FML
by Few_Absolutes / 10/12/2009 at 2:10pm / United States (Maryland) / Health
- Today, I decided to dress up sexy for my boyfriend. I put on cute undies and a corset because they… Today, I found the engagement ring I'd bought and been missing for a week. On my girlfriend's hand.… Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room…