Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

torio123

Offline (the 06/29/2015 at 11:10am) | Search for a member

torio123

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 June 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3895
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About torio123 : don't touch me

torio123's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 8:37am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 1:25pm<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 6:57pm<b>darrend1196</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 1:05am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:40pm<b>BlankSteve</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 5:18pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 3:11pm<b>yewanchor</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 4:08pm<b>garadan1</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 1:22am<b>JR7ISME</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:02pm<b>silon5</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 8:45pm<b>LittlestPrincess</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 3:28am<b>decimater</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 11:00pm<b>blackhawkdown69</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 1:03am<b>sillylittlesheep</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 3:58am<b>Demonking</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 8:55am<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 6:28pm<b>AGhost5445</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 9:01pm

torio123's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of torio123's badges

torio123's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that instead of being stationed in Afghanistan, my husband of 9 years has been "stationed" at his other girlfriend's house. FML

#17526704
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60640) - you deserved it (3478)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:26am - love - by AlwaysGottaFML - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

#17502057
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40622) - you deserved it (2972)

On 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by candymansvan17 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, a bunch of guys at work chased me down a corridor with a Febreze spray for smelling like I'd been "sleeping in a hollowed-out horse's carcass" and having "the personal hygiene of a billy goat." FML

#17283766
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9781) - you deserved it (53198)

On 07/28/2011 at 4:15am - work - by Champion the wonder horse - United States

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

#16950938
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10350) - you deserved it (43338)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob. I got really freaked out so I took him to the vet, only to find out that it was his penis. FML

#16926272
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9001) - you deserved it (58365)

On 06/30/2011 at 7:08pm - health - by budbunny13 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't kiss me because there was a picture of Superman on my shirt. FML

#16668659
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28689) - you deserved it (9432)

On 06/14/2011 at 10:38pm - love - by Username (woman) - United States

Today, I had to be the one to break it to my daughter that WWE fighting was staged. She began crying. However, last month she didn't shed a single tear at her grandmother's funeral. FML

#16655787
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38488) - you deserved it (5373)

On 06/14/2011 at 2:08am - kids - by mk (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML

#16411283
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21891) - you deserved it (48433)

On 05/30/2011 at 12:29am - love - by kingpin9219 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

#16410366
408 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16761) - you deserved it (77394)

On 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm - intimacy - by yummy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got so stressed about my upcoming final exams that, in the silent section of the library, I had a panic attack and almost passed out. No one helped me. 3 people shushed me. FML

#16384054
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33185) - you deserved it (8927)

On 05/28/2011 at 8:20am - work - by justletitbeover (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML

#16383481
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15432) - you deserved it (57250)

On 05/28/2011 at 5:24am - intimacy - by redhanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend convinced me to sneak out. As I was climbing out of my 3rd floor window, he got a text and moved the ladder. Now I'm in the hospital with two broken ribs. FML

#16382650
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22486) - you deserved it (34676)

On 05/28/2011 at 2:45am - love - by epicfail (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor for a sore throat. The doctor wasn't wearing any shoes. He said that he doesn't believe in pharmaceuticals and that it's 'all about vitamins', and he gave me a flyer for a vitamin mail order company. Then he showed me photos of his holidays. FML

#16232810
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30380) - you deserved it (3968)

On 05/18/2011 at 12:38am - health - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I went to Subway with my girlfriend. Just as the time came for her to pay, she went to the car to grab her purse. She didn't come back. I found a note on the windshield saying, "It's over." FML

#16189610
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39567) - you deserved it (13840)

On 05/15/2011 at 3:29pm - love - by DMitch (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked through a spider's web with hundreds of baby spiders on it. My afro is now infested. FML

#16129508
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47870) - you deserved it (16368)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: