Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

torio123

Offline (the 08/24/2014 at 3:36am) | Search for a member

torio123

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 June 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2754
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About torio123 : hi my name is tori and i like strange music and pizza c:

torisux666.tumblr.com

torio123's page activity

Visits<b>yewanchor</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 4:08pm<b>garadan1</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 1:22am<b>JR7ISME</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:02pm<b>silon5</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 8:45pm<b>CamS115</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 1:06pm<b>LittlestPrincess</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 3:28am<b>decimater</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 11:00pm<b>blackhawkdown69</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 1:03am<b>sillylittlesheep</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 3:58am<b>Demonking</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 8:55am<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 6:28pm<b>AGhost5445</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 9:01pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 4:59pm<b>KyngJulian</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 3:28pm<b>02Carter</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 2:18pm<b>acetl87</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 1:44pm<b>overmyer2013</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 1:32pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 10:10am

torio123's FML badges

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of torio123's badges

torio123's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30417) - you deserved it (4650)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that instead of being stationed in Afghanistan, my husband of 9 years has been "stationed" at his other girlfriend's house. FML

#17526704
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60261) - you deserved it (3466)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:26am - love - by AlwaysGottaFML - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

#17502057
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38345) - you deserved it (2800)

On 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by candymansvan17 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, a bunch of guys at work chased me down a corridor with a Febreze spray for smelling like I'd been "sleeping in a hollowed-out horse's carcass" and having "the personal hygiene of a billy goat." FML

#17283766
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9158) - you deserved it (51227)

On 07/28/2011 at 4:15am - work - by Champion the wonder horse - United States

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

#16950938
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10232) - you deserved it (43110)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob. I got really freaked out so I took him to the vet, only to find out that it was his penis. FML

#16926272
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8930) - you deserved it (58001)

On 06/30/2011 at 7:08pm - health - by budbunny13 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't kiss me because there was a picture of Superman on my shirt. FML

#16668659
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28443) - you deserved it (9389)

On 06/14/2011 at 10:38pm - love - by Username (woman) - United States

Today, I had to be the one to break it to my daughter that WWE fighting was staged. She began crying. However, last month she didn't shed a single tear at her grandmother's funeral. FML

#16655787
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35944) - you deserved it (5110)

On 06/14/2011 at 2:08am - kids - by mk (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend in a crowded mall. I thought this was a good idea, until she went ballistic, began screaming and crying, and then stabbed me in the stomach with a ballpoint pen. I got banned from the mall. FML

#16411283
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21192) - you deserved it (47503)

On 05/30/2011 at 12:29am - love - by kingpin9219 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

#16410366
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16635) - you deserved it (77039)

On 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm - intimacy - by yummy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got so stressed about my upcoming final exams that, in the silent section of the library, I had a panic attack and almost passed out. No one helped me. 3 people shushed me. FML

#16384054
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30982) - you deserved it (8619)

On 05/28/2011 at 8:20am - work - by justletitbeover (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML

#16383481
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15067) - you deserved it (56596)

On 05/28/2011 at 5:24am - intimacy - by redhanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend convinced me to sneak out. As I was climbing out of my 3rd floor window, he got a text and moved the ladder. Now I'm in the hospital with two broken ribs. FML

#16382650
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21087) - you deserved it (32751)

On 05/28/2011 at 2:45am - love - by epicfail (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor for a sore throat. The doctor wasn't wearing any shoes. He said that he doesn't believe in pharmaceuticals and that it's 'all about vitamins', and he gave me a flyer for a vitamin mail order company. Then he showed me photos of his holidays. FML

#16232810
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29266) - you deserved it (3853)

On 05/18/2011 at 12:38am - health - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I went to Subway with my girlfriend. Just as the time came for her to pay, she went to the car to grab her purse. She didn't come back. I found a note on the windshield saying, "It's over." FML

#16189610
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37294) - you deserved it (13343)

On 05/15/2011 at 3:29pm - love - by DMitch (man) - United States (Missouri)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: