torio123

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Offline (the 06/29/2015 at 11:10am)

torio123

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 June 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5836
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About torio123 : don't touch me

torio123's page activity

Visits<b>cheyluvsturtles</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 1:42am<b>AndyPandy918</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:34pm<b>Nyattack</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 5:44pm<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 3:45pm<b>infernoblaze84</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 5:15pm<b>LittlePengy</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 10:38pm<b>jdmx325</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 4:57am<b>lilferrit</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 4:19am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 8:37am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 1:25pm<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 6:57pm<b>darrend1196</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 1:05am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:40pm<b>BlankSteve</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 5:18pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 3:11pm<b>yewanchor</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 4:08pm<b>garadan1</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 1:22am<b>JR7ISME</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:02pm

torio123's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of torio123's badges

torio123's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

by imafunguy / 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm / United States / Love

Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML

by disgusted / 10/04/2012 at 7:24pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, my laptop got hit by a Trojan. Not the malware, but a used condom thrown from a car driving past as I sat on a street bench. FML

by iNearlyHurled / 09/28/2012 at 4:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2012 at 12:51am / United States / Kids

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

by weave9z / 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend again accused me of cheating on him. This time, it was because I delayed replying to his text message so I could feed my pet. Apparently I'm fucking my pet toad now. Jesus. FML

by youre dumped shitforbrain / 08/19/2012 at 12:52pm / Sweden (Sodermanlands Lan) / Love

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

by Amberain / 08/16/2012 at 11:16am / United Kingdom (Halton) / Love

Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2012 at 1:16am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy

Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML

by milf / 08/05/2012 at 9:10pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids

Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 5:02am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while watching the Olympics, my father found it completely necessary to make a farting sound every single time an athlete jumps or bends over. This will be a very long few weeks. FML

by joleezad5 / 07/31/2012 at 10:49pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, a homeless lady decided she needed to change underwear in the middle of the sidewalk. I turned around just in time to see her legs in the air with no undies on. I can never eat salami again. FML

by em from Cali / 07/28/2012 at 4:07am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm having heart surgery. The doc came in, donut in one hand and papers in another. While I was filling them out, his hands kept trembling, and he dropped the donut on the floor. He fumbled to pick it up and kept eating. The guy I'm entrusting my life to doesn't even respect the five-second rule. FML

by deadman / 07/09/2012 at 2:25pm / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Health

Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I aproached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2012 at 6:37am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Miscellaneous