Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

torio123

Offline (the 08/24/2014 at 3:36am) | Search for a member

torio123

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 June 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3001
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About torio123 : hi my name is tori and i like strange music and pizza c:

torisux666.tumblr.com

torio123's page activity

Visits<b>Toughsky</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 8:24pm<b>yewanchor</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 4:08pm<b>garadan1</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 1:22am<b>JR7ISME</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 2:02pm<b>silon5</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 8:45pm<b>CamS115</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 1:06pm<b>LittlestPrincess</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 3:28am<b>decimater</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 11:00pm<b>blackhawkdown69</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 1:03am<b>sillylittlesheep</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 3:58am<b>Demonking</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 8:55am<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 6:28pm<b>AGhost5445</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 9:01pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 4:59pm<b>KyngJulian</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 3:28pm<b>02Carter</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 2:18pm<b>acetl87</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 1:44pm<b>overmyer2013</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 1:32pm

torio123's FML badges

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of torio123's badges

torio123's favorite FMLs

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

#21158120
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45060) - you deserved it (8464)

On 05/31/2014 at 11:05am - love - by wendtinmypants (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, my boss let me know that I'm being laid off, via a text message that ended in "lmao". FML

#21043231
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46483) - you deserved it (3645)

On 01/28/2014 at 5:36pm - work - by soon to be unemployed (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML

#21037332
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37325) - you deserved it (4694)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML

#21027576
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42507) - you deserved it (4586)

On 01/14/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML

#21008990
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25930) - you deserved it (53390)

On 12/29/2013 at 2:01am - kids - by ConfusedDad - United States

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

#20959118
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44687) - you deserved it (4311)

On 11/15/2013 at 8:53pm - kids - by I don't know, son (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML

#20952633
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36885) - you deserved it (3378)

On 11/10/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by fuck you, bitchcake (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

#20940589
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37290) - you deserved it (10624)

On 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by GymBattle (man) - United States

Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML

#20932505
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56159) - you deserved it (3751)

On 10/24/2013 at 4:06pm - misc - by soon to be divorced (man) - United States

Today, I learned that my parrots now can shit horizontally when I found the wall next to the cage covered in feces. FML

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43105) - you deserved it (7344)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

#20846728
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45182) - you deserved it (10613)

On 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML

#20824490
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41589) - you deserved it (3668) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/06/2013 at 5:59pm - health - by pong - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML

#20684256
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38259) - you deserved it (4174)

On 05/24/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by unwilling redneck - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: