Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About tona01 : Hi (IF YOU GET TO THE BOTTOM OF MY DESCRIPTION, YOU'LL GET A SURPRISE), i guess you are reading my profile because you liked/disliked one of my comments, if you liked it, thanks, if you didn't, well everybody has an opinion. If my comment offended you, i'm sorry, it was probably a sarcastic joke, so don't take it seriously.
I'm normally a very chill person, i live in mexico city, and no i ain't a drugdealer nor the son of a druglord. I have very curly and long hair( not so long anymore...), and i write a lot of modern poetry( not that roses are red, lillies are blue crap), surreal stories, songs for my rock band and texts about my views of the world
dubstep, rock, metal, phsyco, blues, jazz etc. I just don't like pop.
Art, sports like snowboard, bogey boarding, basketball and jogging.
And intelligent conversations
Message me if you like
And your surprise is a cyber cookie congratulations :)!!!!!!!
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.
Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML
Today, it's my three month anniversary with my girlfriend and so I decided to bake her a cake from scratch. It took me three hours, a call to my mom, three different recipe books, and half my pantry. On the way to her house, I stopped to pick up flowers and left the cake in the car. It melted. FML
Today, leaving the restaurant I work in, the car next to mine was very crookedly parked. I had a hard time backing out. It turned out the whole restaurant was watching me, and they all started to clap as I drove away. FML
Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML
Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to take a pair of scissors to all my bras. My mom can't take me shopping for another three days and I have no one to borrow a bra from. I have school. FML
Today, a kid with severe Down's came into my workplace, as he does every day. He's has an obsession with me, sitting at a table, staring and taking photos of me all day. His parents have no problem with this, because they think it's a miracle that he can focus so much attention on me for so long. FML
Today, I asked my friend to stop texting me, because I'm on a limited plan and didn't want to go over my limit. She responded by getting a group of her friends to text bomb me. I got well over a hundred one-word texts. FML
Today, I was listening to my son's teacher gossip about students whilst in the grocery store. I was thrilled when she described my son as "A model student". However, she then went on to say, "Which is surprising considering that his parents are trailer trash." FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML
Today, while dog sitting, the dog peed on the carpet. There was a bottle of cleaning spray on the counter so I sprayed the spot. Turns out that spray was Clorox Bleach. Now their carpet is bright orange. FML
Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML
Thursday 22 January 2015