tkalaric

Search for a member

tkalaric

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 403
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About tkalaric : I'm awesome

tkalaric's page activity

Visits<b>ShroudedKnife</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 5:01pm<b>NoBothersForMe</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 8:14pm<b>cosicosei</b> - the 03/21/2013 at 10:40pm<b>monkeyforehead</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 11:06pm<b>Climaxx</b> - the 07/22/2011 at 4:44am<b>saragr94</b> - the 07/07/2011 at 10:50am<b>lmaoXD</b> - the 04/24/2011 at 9:47am<b>WoodTurner</b> - the 04/20/2011 at 9:50am<b>Robotata</b> - the 04/18/2011 at 2:30am<b>Otrain</b> - the 04/08/2011 at 6:45pm<b>0___0</b> - the 04/07/2011 at 7:19pm

tkalaric's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

tkalaric's favorite FMLs

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm / Australia / Health

Today, I was wanking and started thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2011 at 1:18am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML

by fmT719 / 12/18/2011 at 6:48pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous

Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML

by ricksterile / 10/28/2011 at 8:44pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2011 at 11:52am / United States / Kids

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

by Username / 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML

by ouch / 01/29/2010 at 3:19pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, as I walked into my class, someone shouted at me, "Wild Snorlax Appeared! Use Your Ultra Balls!", since I am overweight and everyone in class laughed at me. I got made fun of by Pokémon nerds. FML

by snorlax / 01/19/2010 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML

by bsaucedo / 07/28/2009 at 1:00am / United States (California) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy