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Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28347) - you deserved it (4128)
On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15228) - you deserved it (2040)
On 09/22/2012 at 10:12am - animals - by Grauncho - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17685) - you deserved it (2690)
On 09/13/2012 at 10:31am - kids - by PissOffPottermore (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18805) - you deserved it (2000)
On 09/07/2012 at 12:23pm - work - by PuddlePirate (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my teacher assigned us teams in a class debate. I landed on the team that had to argue the obviously wrong point of view. When I finished, my teacher told me and the entire class how much I disturbed her, and how I reminded her of Hitler and Napoleon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19039) - you deserved it (1411)
On 09/05/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8212) - you deserved it (17153)
On 09/02/2012 at 6:07am - kids - by The Horrible Older Sister - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15987) - you deserved it (3255) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/31/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by TBTC (woman) - France (Pays de la Loire)
Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26060) - you deserved it (1532)
On 08/30/2012 at 1:55am - misc - by DamnTornadoAlley - United States (Texas)
Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22650) - you deserved it (4098)
On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my wife and I got in a 4-hour heated argument which resulted in her begging for a divorce and admitting that she cheated on me. This all started with us arguing about the instructions for our new IKEA table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21695) - you deserved it (1541)
On 08/26/2012 at 10:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25296) - you deserved it (1985)
On 08/26/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, while I was at work, my wife sent me a few pictures of her in a new lingerie, to "spice up" my day. She didn't realize that I have iCloud turned on so I can share files with my colleagues. My boss and a dozen other employees received the same pictures. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9110) - you deserved it (14715)
On 08/25/2012 at 12:06pm - work - by Michael D. (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my dad introduced me to my half-sister. He'd only recently found out that he had another daughter by another woman, and had only just met her. She and I have been in the same class in school for the past three years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15956) - you deserved it (782)
On 08/23/2012 at 5:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - Ireland (Mayo)
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29403) - you deserved it (7938) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version
Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18062) - you deserved it (2085) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Monday 20 May 2013
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