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thisguy22's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/16/2014 at 9:10pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/14/2014 at 2:57pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by badplacerightnow / 10/13/2014 at 10:15am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML
by Beeper / 10/11/2014 at 3:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by anonymous / 10/09/2014 at 6:09pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML
by Waterfalls / 10/07/2014 at 7:33am / United States (California) / Health
Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML
by SaintGoobers / 10/06/2014 at 4:24pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/04/2014 at 10:58am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by oncehipjr / 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML
by KasSmoke / 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML
by Operation Yewtree here I come / 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML
by tbree / 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm / United States (California) / Health
by jewelthewat / 09/19/2014 at 8:52am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Transportation
by apparentlybutch / 09/05/2014 at 5:11pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
- Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno… Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then… Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick…