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thisguy22

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thisguy22
  • Town/Country : chicago, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2299
  • Number of comments : 107
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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thisguy22's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

#19085397
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24542) - you deserved it (1792)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29545) - you deserved it (5824)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML

#19062994
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22371) - you deserved it (4337)

On 02/13/2012 at 2:09am - misc - by cieee - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a single, hand-made Valentine's card from the weirdest kid in the school. It said, "If you ever get mauled by a bear, I hope he doesn't damage your face." FML

#18988741
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24601) - you deserved it (4850)

On 02/04/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Jayde - United States (Texas)

Today, my son sprayed our white couch with Febreze. This would have been great, were the "Febreze" not actually black spray paint. FML

#18969036
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23623) - you deserved it (3345)

On 02/01/2012 at 2:35pm - kids - by Anonymous -

Today, I flew to England to visit my boyfriend, who has been working there for the past three months. I went to his hotel and waited for him; he never showed up. I called one of his colleagues to ask him what was going on. He had no idea what I was talking about. FML

#18968998
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27971) - you deserved it (2425)

On 02/01/2012 at 2:31pm - love - by mareda (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

#18937632
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45761) - you deserved it (7743)

On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML

#18927018
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34027) - you deserved it (2683)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I played Call Of Duty online against someone who turned out to be wanking. FML

#18897054
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21669) - you deserved it (6488)

On 01/24/2012 at 5:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML

#18891781
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39061) - you deserved it (3206)

On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States

Today, like every other day, my boss referred to my breasts as pillows he needs to nap on. FML

#18860090
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27064) - you deserved it (3316)

On 01/20/2012 at 6:56am - intimacy - by Emily27 (woman) - United Kingdom (East Lothian)

Today, out of habit, I said "See you later" to a creepy old male customer who stared at my chest the whole time I was serving him. His response was to wink and say, "Oh, you will." FML

#18844355
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24066) - you deserved it (4290)

On 01/18/2012 at 2:02pm - misc - by terrified - United States

Today, my teacher, who's Irish, called me insensitive and stupid for imitating her accent. I'm Filipino and my parents immigrated to Ireland where I was born, and then we moved to Canada when I was 14. Her response to my explanation? "Bullshit." FML

#18841081
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32213) - you deserved it (2348)

On 01/18/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by meh - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML

#18807759
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36714) - you deserved it (2840)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was planning to start my fitness regime and lose weight, using the bike that had been lying unused in my garden for the past six months. Tonight, the bike was stolen from my garden. FML

#18802834
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18362) - you deserved it (5146)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:51am - misc - by baby shak - United States



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