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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, at my job serving, I went to clear the plates when the guy said, "Hold on a second." Thinking he wasn't quite finished, I went to put the plate back. He then reached in to his mouth, pulled out a dark brown object and threw it on the plate. It was a rotten tooth. I almost puked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23747) - you deserved it (1177)
On 09/15/2011 at 3:36am - work - by Tancred (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26098) - you deserved it (4336)
On 09/15/2011 at 3:34am - health - by Scott - United States (California)
Today, my parents overheard me having sex with my girlfriend. They thought it would be funny to barge in with nothing but underwear on. This has happened twice now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27625) - you deserved it (18660)
On 09/10/2011 at 11:46am - intimacy - by RetroDayDreamer - United States (Texas)
Today, my child-hating friend who vowed never to have any no matter what, announced that she's pregnant. I've had three IVF cycles, spent $90k in fertility treatments, and still can't conceive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39876) - you deserved it (3735)
On 09/02/2011 at 6:02pm - kids - by anonymous - United States (Florida)
I agree, your life sucks (26807) - you deserved it (3816)
On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my three year old sister asked me to go to the amusement park with her. Since I was late for work, I politely refused and said we'd go tomorrow. She punched me in the nuts so hard that I could barely walk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21265) - you deserved it (3693)
On 08/11/2011 at 4:45am - kids - by IRum (man) - Russian Federation
Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28527) - you deserved it (2520)
On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33667) - you deserved it (6511)
On 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm - animals - by dukebluedevils13 - United States (Colorado)
Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23219) - you deserved it (1920)
On 07/20/2011 at 6:17pm - misc - by cheddar (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23219) - you deserved it (1920)
On 07/20/2011 at 6:17pm - misc - by cheddar (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28131) - you deserved it (6461)
On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, I took my mom to Victoria's Secret to help her find a bra. She made me try one on to see if it looked good on me. Turns out we have the same cup size. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17148) - you deserved it (43079)
On 07/12/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by sm702 - United States (Colorado)
Today, the couple downstairs decided they wanted to try a home birth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35529) - you deserved it (2861)
On 07/11/2011 at 10:24am - kids - by cocacoola (woman) - Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla)
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24035) - you deserved it (2837)
On 06/28/2011 at 8:35am - animals - by hadtocleanthemess (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25345) - you deserved it (9381)
On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Monday 20 May 2013
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