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thisguy22's favorite FMLs
Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML
by Anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Transportation
Today, my boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML
by anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 9:07pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 10:24am / United States / Intimacy
by whowhat / 07/11/2013 at 2:26am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Erica / 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm / United States (California) / Love
by PerfectTiming / 07/08/2013 at 7:19am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Animals
by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, my step-dad tried to talk me into getting plastic surgery. His reasoning: "Let's face it, 28 and single? Look, I know your mum gave you shitty genes, but that's no excuse to avoid fixing your face, honey." FML
by buttuglyforeveralone :( / 07/05/2013 at 5:37pm / United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil) / Miscellaneous
by idk ask freud / 07/04/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, I saw my older sister for the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke since I found out that she was the woman my college boyfriend left me for. Unfortunately, our reunion was fueled by her two-year-old son's desire to meet his dad. My husband. FML
by Jenn / 07/02/2013 at 10:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by VictoriaLeavitt / 06/24/2013 at 8:35pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids
by myfavoritesgouda / 06/24/2013 at 1:20am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML
by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/23/2013 at 2:55am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm / United States (New York) / Kids
- Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me… Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the…