thisguy22

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thisguy22

19Fucked!

thisguy22thisguy22
  • Town/Country : Chicago, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 February 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 11384
  • Number of comments : 346
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About thisguy22 : Thnks fr th mmrs.

thisguy22's page activity

Visits<b>French_giirl</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 1:27pm<b>Jetix7402</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 9:49am<b>mezochan</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 6:50pm<b>berniro</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 10:18am<b>James_is_Mexican</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 4:30am<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 12:20am<b>nealatmasfu73</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 3:17pm<b>NateshN</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 1:24pm<b>ryannstevenn</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 5:43am<b>teacupofsunshine</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 11:45pm<b>deathrise007</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 9:51pm<b>Itineranthuman</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 1:59pm<b>Mondo017</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 9:57am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 12:28pm<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 10:12pm<b>ciaraash</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 6:29pm<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 5:49pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 1:26pm

Fucked!<b>NotADude</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 9:36pm<b>andrmac</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 9:58am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 10:50pm<b>Thoricsteam20</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 4:55pm<b>trucker2</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 9:25pm<b>interesting33</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 2:54pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 9:02am<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 2:16pm<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 12:35am<b>grandtheftautumn</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 6:21pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 4:54pm<b>Jflowers9296</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 6:40pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 8:25pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 4:46pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 4:24am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 9:19pm<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 5:07pm<b>Toolishing</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 4:19pm

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thisguy22's favorite FMLs

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm / United States / Animals

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was babysitting a kid for the first time. She asked if she could watch a movie, so I downloaded Cinderella for her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standards of beauty and abusive relationships, and how I suck for liking the movie. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2013 at 1:51pm / Finland / Kids

Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered "Fuck it" and left. FML

by Anonycunt / 07/27/2013 at 12:30pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about how I'm jealous of her best guy friend always hanging around her. She responded by saying, "Wait, I thought you knew I was dating him too?" FML

by ttREZZ / 07/27/2013 at 1:02am / United States (Indiana) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was taken to the hospital after I fell down the stairs. The physician who saw me bit his lip and said he would have to amputate my foot, and I fainted in terror. One of the nurses later told me to "learn to take a damn joke." FML

by picklebug / 07/26/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML

by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 2:04am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding "Well, not completely, I guess." FML

by GeeThanks / 07/24/2013 at 10:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I confessed to losing my wife's engagement ring, and replacing it with a lookalike months ago. My wife also confessed that her actual engagement ring was locked in the safe, and the one I lost had been a fake. I've been paying the replacement off on my credit card for 6 months. FML

by RonnieG / 07/22/2013 at 6:30pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2013 at 11:45am / United States (Delaware) / Work

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

by Dirty_Mind_69 / 07/20/2013 at 4:35am / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

by coldstar / 07/18/2013 at 5:06am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at the park playing Frisbee with my friends, when I saw a boy sitting on a bench looking rather sad. "Hey!" I yelled, and he looked up at me. I lightly threw the Frisbee in his direction, and it hit him in the face. He was blind. FML

by WasntMe / 07/17/2013 at 7:15pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML

by anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 9:07pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous