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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, the couple with three noisy toddlers in the apartment above mine finally moved out. A couple with a non-stop crying newborn moved in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18847) - you deserved it (2212)
On 02/16/2012 at 6:30pm - kids - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12835) - you deserved it (24593)
On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21566) - you deserved it (1612)
On 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25993) - you deserved it (5433)
On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18946) - you deserved it (3965)
On 02/13/2012 at 2:09am - misc - by cieee - United States (Texas)
Today, I received a single, hand-made Valentine's card from the weirdest kid in the school. It said, "If you ever get mauled by a bear, I hope he doesn't damage your face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20385) - you deserved it (3737)
On 02/04/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Jayde - United States (Texas)
Today, my son sprayed our white couch with Febreze. This would have been great, were the "Febreze" not actually black spray paint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19788) - you deserved it (2570)
On 02/01/2012 at 2:35pm - kids - by Anonymous -
Today, I flew to England to visit my boyfriend, who has been working there for the past three months. I went to his hotel and waited for him; he never showed up. I called one of his colleagues to ask him what was going on. He had no idea what I was talking about. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27246) - you deserved it (2395)
On 02/01/2012 at 2:31pm - love - by mareda (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40446) - you deserved it (6020)
On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30334) - you deserved it (2437)
On 01/27/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I played Call Of Duty online against someone who turned out to be wanking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17623) - you deserved it (5026)
On 01/24/2012 at 5:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34245) - you deserved it (2508)
On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States
Today, like every other day, my boss referred to my breasts as pillows he needs to nap on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26263) - you deserved it (3271)
On 01/20/2012 at 6:56am - intimacy - by Emily27 (woman) - United Kingdom (East Lothian)
Today, out of habit, I said "See you later" to a creepy old male customer who stared at my chest the whole time I was serving him. His response was to wink and say, "Oh, you will." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22331) - you deserved it (3487)
On 01/18/2012 at 2:02pm - misc - by terrified - United States
Today, my teacher, who's Irish, called me insensitive and stupid for imitating her accent. I'm Filipino and my parents immigrated to Ireland where I was born, and then we moved to Canada when I was 14. Her response to my explanation? "Bullshit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29931) - you deserved it (1976)
On 01/18/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by meh - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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