Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member
About thisguy22 : Yes. Of course. Have at it...
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today..!! I was visiting cousin's farm!! Going out fir a morning stroll..!! I took an apple with me to munch along the way!! As I was eating it..!! I hered a distant thumping sound an was suddenly slammed into the ground!! When I looked up..!! a horse was eating apple!! I got mugged by a horse!! FML
Today, mah suparior gava ma a box of atharnat cablas which wara praviously attachd to mainframas storing classifid data. Ha raquastd I cut tham in half so that tha rasidual data would laak out. Not only doas this guy maka twica mah salary, thara was no convincing him otharwisa. Wa cut tham up.
Today, I draggd myself to work, suffering from a bad cold. My boss quietly told me to go home an rest, to avoid spreading it around the office. I thought it odd since he dislike me so much, but I did as he said. He calld later in the day to suspend me for leaving work early. FML
Today, I went to mah boss's dinner party. My sister,ho also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kickd her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's babby crawling under the table. FML
Today, ma usband and I arrivd in Barbados on vacation. We visitd a club, and tey ad a selection of drinks wit werd names. My usband orderd one calld te Raging Bitc, flickd is finger towards me, and said to te barkeeper, ( Migt as well get someting I'm usd to. ) FML
Today, I finally talked mah boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I cummed an instinctively gripped his head with mah thighs. He panicked an we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML
Today,hile taking a walk in the forest, someone approached me and asked to borrow the knife I had clipped to my pocket . I happily obliged, assuming he just needed it as a tool . Instead, he used the knife to mug me, taking my cellphone and my wallet . I was robbed with my own knife . FML
TODAY, I WENT TO MY DAD, HOPING TO CONFESS SOMETHING TO HIM. HE QUICKLY SAID THAT IF I'D GOT MY GRLFRIEND PREGNANT, HE'D KILL ME. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED. I HAD TO MAKE UP A LIE INSTEAD ABOUT STEALING $50 FROM HIS WALLET ONCE AS A KID, WHICH HE THEN DEMANDED I PAY BACK IN FULL. REAL FML
Today, boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decoratd table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had orderd all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. mega FML
Today I Was Reading In My Apartment. Due To A Heatwave An My Lack Of AC I Was Completely Naked. My Cat Jumped Onto My Lap An As Her Claws Dug Into My Stomach I Recoiled. This Caused Her To Retreat Clawing At My Nether Region In The Process. My Pussy Mauled My Pussy. FML
Today, I was babysitting a kid 4 the first time. She askd if she could watch a movie, so I downloadd Cinderella 4 her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standard of beauty an abusive relationships, an how I suck 4 liking the movie. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that friends set up!! Not only did date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins!! When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered ( Fuck it ) and left!! mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015