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theunlovedemo's FML badges
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theunlovedemo's favorite FMLs
Today, while shaving my nether regions, I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm virtually having a second period, and it hurts to close my legs. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 3:15pm / Italy (Calabria) / Health
by ldn / 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Intimacy
by SolaceInRage / 03/20/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals
by Anonymous / 03/05/2013 at 11:13am / United States (Vermont) / Animals
by BadAssBandit897 / 02/23/2013 at 8:46am / Canada / Love
by dab1230 / 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 3:29am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML
by geewhy / 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by thanks, fuckface / 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by Lilly / 10/30/2012 at 2:45pm / United States / Animals
by puppylove / 10/20/2012 at 3:16am / United States / Animals
Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stared at me and said, "You really need a penis inside you now and again." FML
by foreveralone / 09/24/2012 at 7:12pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy
by Brittany / 06/18/2012 at 10:57am / United States / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…