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thestoryofmylyf

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thestoryofmylyf

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1099
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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thestoryofmylyf's page activity

Visits<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 10:23am<b>pokerface71</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 5:31pm<b>Rozza17</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 10:03am<b>Shrouds</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 5:37pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 7:12pm

Fucked!<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 4:21pm

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thestoryofmylyf's favorite FMLs

Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML

Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML

#21401745
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33863) - you deserved it (4527)

On 04/29/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up because we got into a fight over what color that confusing black and blue and white and gold dress was. FML

#21364239
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31734) - you deserved it (63)

On 02/26/2015 at 10:07pm - love - by confused - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML

#21355550
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33434) - you deserved it (3389)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18803) - you deserved it (35674)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got to experience the horror of my wife's pregnancy. She woke me up abruptly at 5 am by throwing up all over me due to her terrible morning sickness, then ate pickles covered in mayonnaise, and later dropped to the floor sobbing when I told her we were out of dog food. FML

#21315694
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35587) - you deserved it (4297)

On 12/11/2014 at 4:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was a pregnant man for Halloween. Everyone at school thought it was funny, except my principal, who gave me a detention and said it was, "inappropriate and making a pregnant teacher feel uncomfortable". That pregnant teacher asked me to take a selfie with her. FML

#21289257
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34735) - you deserved it (2169)

On 10/31/2014 at 7:28pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife pressed a button in the elevator and quickly ran out, leaving me in there with my crying baby. When the elevator arrived at the floor, the doors opened on a wedding reception. The doors couldn't have taken any longer to close again FML

#21276854
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36728) - you deserved it (3576)

On 10/13/2014 at 11:42am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

#21260699
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33692) - you deserved it (5709)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by immature - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43365) - you deserved it (8734)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41524) - you deserved it (3227)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49356) - you deserved it (21305)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, my mom told me my relationship is a joke, because teenagers don't understand the meaning of relationships and commitment. I couldn't help but remind her how she's divorced three separate men to date. She hit me over the head so hard that snot flew out of my nose. FML

#21213268
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55671) - you deserved it (10683)

On 07/18/2014 at 7:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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