Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

theonlybassist

Search for a member

theonlybassist

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 March 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 834
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About theonlybassist : I play bass or guitar. Like to think I can sing for my band but mainly just screams. Love rocking out with my band.

I'm not a grammar nazi but people that don't use vowels piss me off.

Music is my life!

Favorite bands/biggest influences:
Rise Against
Pierce the Veil
Of Mice and Men
old Escape the Fate
Blessthefall
A Day to Remember
D.R.U.G.S
Trivium
Sleeping with Sirens

Vic Fuentes, Tim Mcilrath, Ronnie Radke, Beau Bokan, Matt Heafy, Jeremy McKinnon, Shayley Bourget, Austin Carlile, Craig Owens and my Dad are my idols.

Message me if you want to I'm on my phone a lot so yer it might be a while before you get a reply :p there isn't a lot else to me other than music :)

theonlybassist's page activity

Visits<b>Rizzen</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 2:18am

theonlybassist's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of theonlybassist's badges

theonlybassist's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

#19993096
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8952) - you deserved it (26486)

On 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by NaKreen (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I received more affection from my wife in a video game than I ever have in real life. FML

#19128091
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21260) - you deserved it (3843)

On 02/21/2012 at 12:01am - love - by bloodshedblack - United States (Colorado)

Today, after spending months learning how to play the guitar and memorizing the music to my girlfriend's all-time favorite song, I performed it for her. Her response? "Well, you kind of ruined that song for me now." FML

#18563355
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30175) - you deserved it (4933)

On 12/20/2011 at 5:41pm - love - by tommy - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. I had been hiding the ring in the sock drawer. When I went to retrieve it, the ring was gone and in its place was a sticky note that said "NO." FML

#18508427
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51351) - you deserved it (3072)

On 12/14/2011 at 12:15am - love - by newlysingle (man) - United States

Today, I went out in a storm to collect my wheelie bin, which had flown down the street. On the way back to my house, I realised my door had slammed shut and locked behind me. That's okay though, a trampoline decided to smash my window and let me in. FML

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11888) - you deserved it (56236)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

#18203488
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42300) - you deserved it (5064)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Great... (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I had to break up a fistfight between my wife and mother. Apparently, my mom heard that I finally got the great paying job of my dreams, and told my wife I'd finally kick her "useless ass to the curb." We have to spend the holidays together. FML

#18056102
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25227) - you deserved it (3108)

On 10/23/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had to break up a fistfight between my wife and mother. Apparently, my mom heard that I finally got the great paying job of my dreams, and told my wife I'd finally kick her "useless ass to the curb." We have to spend the holidays together. FML

#18056102
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25227) - you deserved it (3108)

On 10/23/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

#18015213
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51032) - you deserved it (8033)

On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

#18015213
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51032) - you deserved it (8033)

On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was given an entire week of detention for planking on my school desk. FML

#18008479
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14712) - you deserved it (72217)

On 10/17/2011 at 6:05pm - misc - by planking champion (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML

#17980491
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28475) - you deserved it (2953)

On 10/14/2011 at 2:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML

#17973930
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26557) - you deserved it (3121)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:24am - kids - by daddoesn'tknowbest - United States

Today, somebody ordered pizza and sent it to the house across the street from them, so they could shoot at the pizza guy with an air-soft gun from the upstairs of their house. I was that delivery guy. FML

#17973373
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29738) - you deserved it (1871)

On 10/13/2011 at 4:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: