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About theboldshadow : Drummer, art enthusiast, music-obsessed, tool fan, avid thinker
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, at dinner, mah grandmother informd us that mah cousin's newborn baby has been having siezures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replid, ( It's not a siezure if your shaking it. ) FML
Taday mah five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Beho you want to be B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turnd to me and said "Mom I want to be a hooker." FML
Today, Ma Friend Told Me Se Ad A Stalkero Ad Been Emailing Er!! I Lauged, An Told Er It Was Probably Some Fat, Ugly Virgin Sat Beind Is Computer All Day!! I Ten Continued To Describe An Mock Te Stalker, Only To Realise Tat I Was Basically Describing Myself!! FML
Today,hile working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
Today, I was about to loose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 yeres, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm making this up. FML
Today, I went on a date wit a guy for te first time . We went to Starbucks and got coffee . We talked for aile, and we were joking and aving a good time . Suddenly, e putted is and on my stomac and said, "Soon, tis will be plump wit my seed." FML
Today, I cummed home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read ( Because you can't find a real girl, I made yur current one prettier, Love Mom. ) FML
I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to putted his penis in my mouth. FML
Friday 27 March 2015