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Offline (the 09/10/2014 at 6:22am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2026
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About theboldshadow : Drummer, art enthusiast, music-obsessed, tool fan, avid thinker

theboldshadow's page activity

Visits<b>kafka779</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 11:29pm<b>shupwhup</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 9:21pm<b>BadTat</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 10:11pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 6:16pm<b>Cocoapelli</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 5:43pm<b>kionna_d</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 7:14pm<b>gradius1002</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 7:41am<b>GoatInABag</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 10:08pm<b>michaelbishop99</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 11:13pm<b>dmd316</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 2:27am<b>tsent8</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 4:35pm<b>canadianKeari</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 12:31am<b>Captain_Brittain</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 10:04am<b>ianlittle2000</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 8:49pm<b>Rori</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 9:45am<b>27BronxBombers</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 11:25am<b>toothpsate</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 7:44am<b>velociraptor_123</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 5:54pm

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theboldshadow's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML

by gorillalove / 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my crush on MSN. She was telling me how her friend had passed away recently. I had two chats open and accidentally replied, "That's hilarious." FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2010 at 4:51pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was "So does yours." FML

by Username / 07/28/2010 at 7:20am / Intimacy

Today, a girl I've liked for several years gave me her number. Finally, I worked up the courage to call her. It was a suicide help line. FML

by Kin / 10/25/2009 at 4:48pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, for my two month anniversary, my boyfriend surprised me with a "present". He then lifted his pant leg. He had carved my initials into his leg with a knife. FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2009 at 11:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

by hamster cookie / 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm / Kids

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, my friend told me she had a stalker who had been emailing her. I laughed, and told her it was probably some fat, ugly virgin sat behind his computer all day. I then continued to describe and mock the stalker, only to realise that I was basically describing myself. FML

by TheHatedOne / 06/21/2009 at 3:26am / Qatar (Ad Dawhah) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML

by Mew / 06/04/2009 at 8:07am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 5:40pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML

by coughandcold / 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy