theboldshadow

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Offline (the 09/10/2014 at 6:22am)

theboldshadow

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1863
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About theboldshadow : Drummer, art enthusiast, music-obsessed, tool fan, avid thinker

theboldshadow's page activity

Visits<b>kafka779</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 11:29pm<b>shupwhup</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 9:21pm<b>BadTat</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 10:11pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 6:16pm<b>Cocoapelli</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 5:43pm<b>kionna_d</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 7:14pm<b>gradius1002</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 7:41am<b>GoatInABag</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 10:08pm<b>michaelbishop99</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 11:13pm<b>dmd316</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 2:27am<b>tsent8</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 4:35pm<b>canadianKeari</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 12:31am<b>Captain_Brittain</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 10:04am<b>ianlittle2000</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 8:49pm<b>Rori</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 9:45am<b>27BronxBombers</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 11:25am<b>toothpsate</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 7:44am<b>velociraptor_123</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 5:54pm

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theboldshadow's favorite FMLs

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

by lababy / 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

by Anonymous / 11/03/2011 at 3:29am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I came home crying and informed my mother that someone had called me a 'fat bitch' today. She held me at arms length, looked me straight in the eyes, and lovingly said, "You can't change who you are." FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2011 at 12:16pm / Ireland (Meath) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to see it. He said, "Honey, your breasts aren't big enough to hide that." FML

by G / 10/08/2011 at 1:03pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2011 at 4:35pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Work

Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second time in two years, and they may end up removing my last testicle. Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation joked, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to being a woman." FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2011 at 7:54pm / United States / Health

Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML

by Cantgetno / 09/20/2011 at 3:45am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

by applesmama / 09/17/2011 at 12:36am / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2011 at 1:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I found a used condom in the fax machine. I'm the electrical maintenance repair for the company. I have to untangle it from the belts. FML

by Help / 09/16/2011 at 12:20pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I told my husband that I wanted him to stay sober during the week. He responded by saying he wanted me to be a supermodel during the week. FML

by brinn / 09/16/2011 at 1:15am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 4:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

by wf / 09/14/2011 at 2:11pm / United States / Intimacy