theawkwardlife

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Offline (the 03/18/2015 at 7:10am)

theawkwardlife

25Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 11 November 1948 (67 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3310
  • Number of comments : 116
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About theawkwardlife : You though it was sarcasm didn't you. ;)


Msg me and I'll respond to your lovely comments when I'm not busy performing satanic rituals

theawkwardlife's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 7:42am<b>Guy1009</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 9:36pm<b>ShockBlast8879</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 2:21pm<b>jman1324</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 3:23pm<b>Mons</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 4:41pm<b>Safiya16</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 2:09am<b>James_is_Mexican</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 2:49am<b>joco4</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 10:53am<b>Damned_Architect</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 3:43am<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 6:51am<b>dextrementor</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 12:27am<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 10:46pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 10:56pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 3:10pm<b>llama_monicz</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 11:14pm<b>Anthonymm2</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 9:05am<b>briang959</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 1:33pm<b>seholland</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 9:36pm

Fucked!<b>beeferjay</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 4:46am<b>Pluiscyam</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 12:27pm<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 3:11pm<b>IspSG</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 5:50am<b>robertd73</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 5:39am<b>i_wuz_nver_here</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 5:38am<b>llamarrama01</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 3:27pm<b>Stazza11</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 11:18am<b>touch_the_sky_77</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 5:50am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 4:47am<b>WillyWonkaaaa</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 2:52am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 12:51am<b>Wingman527</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 8:22pm<b>MisterEx</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 11:35am<b>chancjd</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 4:31am<b>FiendHunter</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 3:09am<b>whiteangel361</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 2:22am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 3:41pm

theawkwardlife's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of theawkwardlife's badges

theawkwardlife's favorite FMLs

Today, my cat tunneled her way under the covers to sleep beside me. It was really cute until she panicked in the middle of the night and practically skinned me alive trying to find her way out. FML

Today, I figured I needed to go on a diet when I discovered I could make farting noises with my neck. FML

by fat and alone / 06/05/2014 at 12:11am / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

by great 1st impression / 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous

Today, I explained to my dad that I had spent over three hours baking, frosting, and decorating a cake from scratch and how proud I was of it. Without even looking up at me, he replied, "You really need a boyfriend." FML

by lifesabitch2016 / 05/24/2014 at 2:23am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter admitted why her grades, which are usually straight A's, have been slipping the past few weeks. Turns out she has been deliberately failing tests to avoid becoming valedictorian, so she won't have to deliver a speech at graduation. FML

by stillaproudfather / 05/22/2014 at 3:24pm / United States / Kids

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

by BekkyLove15 / 05/18/2014 at 8:12pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my grandmother told me that since my dad was a mistake, I too am a mistake. FML

by 2ndgenoration / 05/17/2014 at 5:56pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

by MommyProblems / 01/19/2014 at 12:17am / United States / Kids

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

by Anonymous / 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm / Egypt / Kids

Today, I placed an order at a fast food joint, when the elderly lady behind me cussed me out for ordering the same thing she wanted. She ranted that I was a "dirty thief", while everyone else glared at me as if I was holding up the line. What the fuck? FML

by dirtythief / 07/18/2013 at 12:01pm / Philippines (Batangas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML

by babs / 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave a presentation about how teachers don't intervene enough when students are being bullied. Afterwards, I was practically bullied by my teacher for "not choosing a serious topic." FML

by hopelesscollegechick / 05/07/2013 at 2:14pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML

by AussieG75 / 05/07/2013 at 10:18am / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML

by DemiRawrs / 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm / United States / Health

Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML

by luvs2spooge89 / 05/01/2013 at 10:27am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous