Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

theawkwardlife

Search for a member

theawkwardlife

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1895
  • Number of comments : 95
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About theawkwardlife : All about that Dr. Phil life. Go to sleep to his voice and wake up to his face. Can't go a day without a dose of the Phil;)
Not the most socially acceptable kid but it's just too much fun being awkward.

theawkwardlife's page activity

Visits<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 3:09pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 3:17pm<b>euphoricness</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 9:10pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 3:51pm<b>andrewhoyt</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 7:40pm<b>LuisFV</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 4:13pm<b>Secret_Ninjaa</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 12:41am<b>subhaan786</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 6:46pm<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 3:50pm<b>Dodge4x4Ram</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 2:14pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 1:53pm<b>kto123</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 1:49pm<b>animalover9</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 11:05pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 1:18am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 7:45pm<b>muslimpride</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 4:13pm<b>Llamassss</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 9:53am<b>jad0016</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 8:41am

theawkwardlife's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of theawkwardlife's badges

theawkwardlife's favorite FMLs

Today, I figured I needed to go on a diet when I discovered I could make farting noises with my neck. FML

#21163432
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34922) - you deserved it (16177)

On 06/05/2014 at 12:11am - health - by fat and alone - United States (Alabama)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47355) - you deserved it (7209)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I explained to my dad that I had spent over three hours baking, frosting, and decorating a cake from scratch and how proud I was of it. Without even looking up at me, he replied, "You really need a boyfriend." FML

#21149895
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41750) - you deserved it (4985)

On 05/24/2014 at 2:23am - misc - by lifesabitch2016 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my daughter admitted why her grades, which are usually straight A's, have been slipping the past few weeks. Turns out she has been deliberately failing tests to avoid becoming valedictorian, so she won't have to deliver a speech at graduation. FML

#21148414
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48908) - you deserved it (6051)

On 05/22/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by stillaproudfather (man) - United States

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

Today, my grandmother told me that since my dad was a mistake, I too am a mistake. FML

#21143150
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45626) - you deserved it (3747)

On 05/17/2014 at 5:56pm - misc - by 2ndgenoration (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

#21032373
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42991) - you deserved it (6242)

On 01/19/2014 at 12:17am - kids - by MommyProblems (woman) - United States

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

#20996030
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53768) - you deserved it (7093)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I placed an order at a fast food joint, when the elderly lady behind me cussed me out for ordering the same thing she wanted. She ranted that I was a "dirty thief", while everyone else glared at me as if I was holding up the line. What the fuck? FML

#20790299
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43807) - you deserved it (2667)

On 07/18/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by dirtythief (man) - Philippines (Batangas)

Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML

#20647820
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45990) - you deserved it (4174)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by babs (woman) - United States

Today, I gave a presentation about how teachers don't intervene enough when students are being bullied. Afterwards, I was practically bullied by my teacher for "not choosing a serious topic." FML

#20647729
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47550) - you deserved it (5404)

On 05/07/2013 at 2:14pm - misc - by hopelesscollegechick - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML

#20647478
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40970) - you deserved it (6846)

On 05/07/2013 at 10:18am - animals - by AussieG75 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML

#20634792
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58110) - you deserved it (4186)

On 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by DemiRawrs - United States

Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML

#20634623
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20375) - you deserved it (68969)

On 05/01/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by luvs2spooge89 - United States (New York)

Today, my former fiancée, who I stopped seeing 5 months ago, married another guy. She wore the dress that I'd purchased for our would-be wedding. FML

#20630309
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56467) - you deserved it (5225)

On 04/29/2013 at 1:07pm - love - by Good Luck Chuck (man) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: