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tessa1110001

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tessa1110001

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 November 1991 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3201
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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tessa1110001's page activity

Visits<b>MeCoCo</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 9:13pm<b>apaleontologist</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 5:29pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 3:32pm<b>arebeewhy</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 12:08pm<b>CheeseTron</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 9:53pm

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tessa1110001's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that the only reason my husband is taking yoga classes with me is because he wants to be flexible enough to suck his own rod. FML

#19996058
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33726) - you deserved it (5901)

On 08/01/2012 at 5:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

#19995628
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56408) - you deserved it (10333)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, as I sat down for my flight, I realised that the passenger I had to sit next to for the next seven hours was wearing a necklace made from tampon packaging. FML

#19995117
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21023) - you deserved it (1647)

On 07/31/2012 at 7:28pm - misc - by lotd - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

#19993820
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25635) - you deserved it (4265)

On 07/31/2012 at 1:36am - kids - by mcase - United States (California)

Today, I was walking to the movie theatre with my boyfriend, when three guys muscled over and told us to hand over our phones. My boyfriend didn't waste any time pushing past me and running like hell, leaving me in tears and almost having a panic attack. FML

#19992901
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28429) - you deserved it (2572)

On 07/30/2012 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ukraine (Kyyiv)

Today, I took my 2-year-old son to the ear doctor, since he'd stopped responding whenever I call him. The doctor told me that his ears are just fine. He's just ignoring me. FML

#19990524
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22824) - you deserved it (5052)

On 07/29/2012 at 8:20am - kids - by fml - Japan (Saitama)

Today, I finally lost my virginity, all while in the passionate throes of an asthma attack. FML

#19989315
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25361) - you deserved it (2858)

On 07/28/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by feminista (woman) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Today, my live-in-boyfriend lost his job. Jokingly, I told him that we weren't going to have sex until he found a new job. He then turned to me with the most excited look I have ever seen on his face and said "I am going to stay unemployed forever!" He was serious. FML

#19987101
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27015) - you deserved it (8311)

On 07/27/2012 at 9:45am - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML

#19986553
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5856) - you deserved it (37119)

On 07/27/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by ryanharp2 - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my long-term boyfriend insisted on me going down on him. When I asked what he would do in return, he said "I was thinking McDonald's". FML

#19985281
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24687) - you deserved it (4472)

On 07/26/2012 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, out of curiosity, I measured the length of my penis whilst in the shower. A couple of hours later, my father called me downstairs to show me something. Turns out I left the ruler on top of the shower tree. He won't stop laughing. FML

#19984171
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9379) - you deserved it (33341)

On 07/25/2012 at 9:11pm - intimacy - by Infiltrator4444 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, everyone found out about the strange but intense fetish I have for women physically lifting me. It all came out when my friend, a female bodybuilder, decided to grab and pick me up for a laugh. I came in my pants, in front of about twenty people. FML

#19983416
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37737) - you deserved it (8102)

On 07/25/2012 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML

#19983177
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27250) - you deserved it (3045)

On 07/25/2012 at 9:03am - love - by Unlucky (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I received a "get well soon" card in the mail, which I found just a little odd, since I was feeling completely fine. Not an hour later, I tripped and fell down a flight of stairs. FML

#19981576
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24820) - you deserved it (2036)

On 07/24/2012 at 1:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my landlord decided to have people visit my apartment since I'm moving out next month. She had warned me about potential visitors this week but didn't specify when. I work the graveyard shift and apparently the fact that I was sleeping in my room during the visit didn't bother her at all. FML



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