About tessa1110001 : Cause I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it. Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it 💋
tessa1110001's FML badges
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
tessa1110001's favorite FMLs
by happybirthday / 08/12/2012 at 1:49am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by FutureMarine3658 / 08/08/2012 at 10:00am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was bagging my groceries when I accidentally smacked myself in the face with a box of popsicles, giving myself a nose bleed. I found out that the cashier hates the sight of blood when she passed out behind the register. They called security on me. FML
by MellyBee / 08/07/2012 at 11:15pm / Canada (Quebec) / Health
by Blackfell / 08/07/2012 at 1:59pm / United States / Love
Today, I was rotated to the graveyard shift at my job. My only co-worker is a twenty-something Paris Hilton wannabe who won't shut up about her belief that she's the reincarnation of Whitney Houston. FML
by bellsucker / 08/04/2012 at 6:15pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work
Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML
by fuckingbeliebers / 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/04/2012 at 2:00am / United States (New Mexico) / Love
by Lara / 08/03/2012 at 7:28am / Italy (Toscana) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML
by opinaise / 08/02/2012 at 9:00am / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Love
Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 4:59pm / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Health
Today, I drove 45 minutes to take my full driver's test. At the end of the test, the instructor told me I'd done everything perfectly, but had failed before I left the parking lot. I didn't see the "one way" sign at the entrance. FML
by unlicensed / 08/01/2012 at 12:20pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 5:02am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML
by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 12:17am / Canada / Intimacy
by lotd / 07/31/2012 at 7:28pm / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Miscellaneous
by mcase / 07/31/2012 at 1:36am / United States (California) / Kids
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got… 3Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for…
- Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told… Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted… Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets…