About tessa1110001 : Cause I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it. Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it 💋
tessa1110001's FML badges
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
tessa1110001's favorite FMLs
Today, the pharmacist warned me that my antibiotics might cause slight gastrointestinal distress. The fact that I have been on the john for the past 90 minutes drenched in sweat would lead me to believe our definitions of "slight" are a bit different. FML
by jdch_99 / 08/29/2012 at 9:12am / United States / Health
by spekledworf / 08/27/2012 at 10:57pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by WTF / 08/22/2012 at 6:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by baffled / 08/22/2012 at 4:36pm / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Miscellaneous
by Sexting / 08/21/2012 at 11:29am / United States / Intimacy
Today, after his second week of babysitting, my boyfriend has begun the disturbing habit of saying, "Ready or not, here I come!" every time he's about to orgasm. He doesn't see why this doesn't appeal to me. FML
by majorlyturnedoff / 08/20/2012 at 11:02pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/20/2012 at 8:12am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/19/2012 at 10:05pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I was suntanning outside, when I had a bout of nausea. I rushed to the toilet, hoping at all costs to just dry-heave it away. When I lifted the lid, I was faced with two of the most rancid floaters I've ever seen, courtesy of my live-in gran. Well, my stomach's empty now. FML
by rainbows? more like shitstorms / 08/16/2012 at 8:22pm / United States / Health
Today, while I was taking my driver's test, my instructor received a text message. He promptly had a panic attack and screamed for me to pull over. It turned out his wife wanted a divorce. The last 15 minutes of my test consisted of him sobbing to himself as I drove back to the DMV. FML
by Samantha / 08/16/2012 at 6:36pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
by Anonymous / 08/16/2012 at 5:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by itwasmyfavoriteshirt / 08/16/2012 at 3:28pm / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML
by Soap0015 / 08/16/2012 at 5:57am / United States / Work
Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML
by Anonymous / 08/12/2012 at 7:08pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health
- Today, I went to the doctor's office, they did their regular check up, and found "odd red marks" on… Today, in the middle of hot passionate sex with my husband, he stops and tells me he won't be able… Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom…
- Today, I did my makeup full out, bought red solo cups, and acted like I was having a party all for… Today, I quit my job at a retail store to become a 911 operator. One call in "Thank you for calling… Today, I got a letter saying I have got a 1.55% pay rise which is an extra £24 per month. I should…