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tessa1110001

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tessa1110001

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tessa1110001
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 November 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3415
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About tessa1110001 : Cause I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it. Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it 💋

tessa1110001's page activity

Visits<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 3:26pm<b>briang959</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 1:27pm<b>MeCoCo</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 9:13pm<b>apaleontologist</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 5:29pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 3:32pm<b>arebeewhy</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 12:08pm<b>CheeseTron</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 9:53pm

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tessa1110001's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML

#20115322
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29148) - you deserved it (3645)

On 10/13/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

#20113997
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35532) - you deserved it (2915)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33889) - you deserved it (5520)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

#20094500
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30258) - you deserved it (5189)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I finally managed to sleep, after two days of being kept awake by the miniature floodlights my neighbors have installed to scare off burglars. Only a couple of hours into my sleep, I woke up to the sound of their car being broken into. FML

#20093571
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18473) - you deserved it (1328)

On 09/29/2012 at 12:32pm - health - by firebombtimEFUCKERS (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to sing at karaoke. I sang a romantic love ballad to him. He dedicated Rick James' "Super Freak" to me. FML

#20091434
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15525) - you deserved it (4621)

On 09/27/2012 at 8:19pm - misc - by MB101 (woman) - United States

Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML

#20088535
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21398) - you deserved it (1483)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm - misc - by PerpetuallyHappy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML

#20087510
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23992) - you deserved it (2333)

On 09/25/2012 at 12:13am - health - by N/A (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML

#20087243
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15657) - you deserved it (29323)

On 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by Fingkids - United States

Today, I told my parents that I have a boyfriend. I was answering their questions about him, when my dad cut me off mid-sentence. He accused me of lying through my teeth, and said I'd based him off a character from a Harrison Ford movie. FML

#20083866
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20181) - you deserved it (2739)

On 09/22/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by busted (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up feeling ecstatic, because last night, my crush had told my best friend he likes me a lot. I sent him a text message telling him the feeling is mutual. A little while after sending it, it hit me that his confession had only been part of a dream. FML

#20073337
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29610) - you deserved it (6530)

On 09/15/2012 at 6:16pm - love - by hannah (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)

Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML

#20070030
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22705) - you deserved it (2103)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:37am - misc - by Sprtsgeek13 - United States (Maine)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44636) - you deserved it (3893)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML



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