Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tessa1110001

Search for a member

tessa1110001

0Liked!

tessa1110001
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 November 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3513
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About tessa1110001 : Cause I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it. Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it 💋

tessa1110001's page activity

Visits<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 3:26pm<b>briang959</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 1:27pm<b>MeCoCo</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 9:13pm<b>apaleontologist</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 5:29pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 3:32pm<b>arebeewhy</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 12:08pm<b>CheeseTron</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 9:53pm

tessa1110001's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of tessa1110001's badges

tessa1110001's favorite FMLs

Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML

#3386815
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98131) - you deserved it (5562)

On 07/01/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by kewlio45 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML

#3330800
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44392) - you deserved it (15360)

On 06/29/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by Asterisk1009 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was awoken by my son squirting liquid on me from a bottle. We have a high deer population in our area, so I spray urine contained in black bottle on my plants to help deter the deer from eating them. I also water my flowers with water from a blue bottle. My son used the black one. FML

#3200106
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32375) - you deserved it (7375)

On 06/25/2009 at 6:17am - misc - by GoldenShower (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

#3192725
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83337) - you deserved it (14220)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

#2987164
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24590) - you deserved it (110212)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my daughter asked me if we can make sticker art. Of course I said it was ok so she went to get some stickers. I wondered where she was going when she walked into the bathroom, but I didn't ask. I left the room and when I came back, her paper was blank and my pads were stuck to the wall. FML

#2935296
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36062) - you deserved it (5466)

On 06/16/2009 at 6:35am - kids - by inboxbuddies (woman) - Saudi Arabia (Ash Sharqiyah)

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

#2925389
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80925) - you deserved it (5548)

On 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Shaun (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML

#2797369
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32263) - you deserved it (52308)

On 06/11/2009 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was camping. Me and this really cute girl were hitting it off real nice. It was the last night so we both headed over to my tent to have sex. I was just about to get it in when a raccoon ripped my tent causing the girl to scream and runaway. I got cockblocked by a raccoon. FML

#2729024
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70263) - you deserved it (8430)

On 06/08/2009 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Baggabbles123 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was reading through a local wedding mag's advice page. A mother-in-law to be was writing about how to handle wanting her son to break off his engagement. I thought, "Wow. That must suck. I'm glad I like my mother-in-law to be." And then I saw her name. FML

#2593216
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69039) - you deserved it (3061)

On 06/04/2009 at 7:11am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

#2534485
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61927) - you deserved it (5620)

On 06/02/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Higgs (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend invited me over so I went, not thinking anything of it. To my surprise, he broke up with me. I was pretty upset, and as I was leaving his mom hands me a box. When I got home I opened it. His mom baked me a break up cake. FML

#2290752
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52211) - you deserved it (3304)

On 05/25/2009 at 9:15pm - love - by cakegirl (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother". FML

#2271321
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80701) - you deserved it (5013)

On 05/25/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML

#2200863
540 comments

I agree, your life sucks (214328) - you deserved it (23050)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

#2059220
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71452) - you deserved it (3164)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by emoney (woman) - United States (Michigan)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: